For those confused by the previous post:
A not is something brooke and I came up with last night. Our own category. When people ask me what Im like I never know what to tell them.
Im not a jock but Im athletic.
Im not girlie, but I like to be pretty.
Im not butch but I can wear sweats and short hair.
Im not a nerd, but Im intelligent.
Im not OCD but I like to be clean
Im not a scrub but sometimes I dont take a shower.
Im not a pushover but Im also not a B*tch.
Im not lazy, but I like to relax.
Im not a workaholic but I have a good work ethic.
Im not cocky, but Im confident.
Im not popular but I like who I am.
Im not a musician, but Im musical.
Basically this group is for those of us well rounded folk who arent molding ourselves to one category or another. We decided that although it is ok to be a part of a group such as the above mentioned, some people cop out and pick one because they are too lazy to figure out who they are. So.. Word to all the NOTS out there.. Are you a Not?
Other than that today was pretty crappy.. other than lunch.
I slept through my french class.. yep.. I did. I made it to chapel and was blessed with a lunch with marcus, phil, ahndria, sarah and well.. me. It was tasty and I like them. They are such sweet happy people. I hope to get to know them better..
Then I finally got a hold of my dad after a boring afternoon class. And hell opened. I told him about how I was looking at grad schools and michigan..so he'd know I was listening to him and putting away some of my pride.. I told him about how Rob basically offered me the future position of running one of his stores, so that he would see that I am enjoying my job and am talented at it.. And what happened? He blew up. He yelled and got pissed, and kept sying all this stuff about how I dont knwo what Im talking about and how I ignore what he says about maybe liking corporate stuff, and not letting me say a word at allllll.. I just stopped listening. I was so pissed.. SO pissed. He has burst my bubble and hurt me too many times. How long will it take for him to realize that although I understand his motives are pure.. or almost pure, it is still my life that I am trying to make something of and I may have to do it MY way.
I cant even explain to you how mad I was.. I got to the point where I almost.. ALMOST screamed F&!K you and hung up. NOT EVEN KIDDING. But I calmed myself atleast til I could get off the phone. He has never brought me to tears before, but this did it. OH this did it.
I am finally to a point in my life where I see a direction I want to go. And although I dont know the next step in the path I can see the general direciton. Its like when you are driving and night in a blizzard and although you cant see ten feet ahead of you you can make out the direction of the lines on the side of the road enough to just keep going. If you were to call someone and say hey what direction do I go.. taht wouldnt help you. Only staring at those lines on the road and being focused on what adventures lay ahead of you will work. Wow.. That just came into my head.. God is good. ANyways..
Work was alright tonight. Not busy. Even though the people I worked with were convinced that was the busiest it had ever been. ahhaha. funny.
Oh last night and this afternoon I had some pretty cool convos with my friend from Mexico City. Man I want to go down there SOO bad. I want to have a vacation so bad. By myself or with a friend. I dont know. I just NEED IT. So I think I am going to save up some of my money from work and fly down to Mexico City this summer for like a week and hang out with my friend. He's a pretty cool guy and I wouldnt feel weird about it. He's a great man of God and is always an encouragement. Plus he said he'd take me on a tour of the pyramids and all the cool museums!
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Short and Long
For the simple minded:
I got lost in Abilene today.. actually I just missed a couple exits. I was distracted. I apparently like taking Treadaway to school.
I set off the alarm at work last night. I am an idiot. Oh well. First closing alone time. I was proud of everything else. Hey its not my fault he only showed me how to leave not how to go back in when I forgot my wallet and car keys inside the locked alarmed building. Woopsie.
Today in chapel we found out that the Soulforce is coming to ACU. Im not sure exactly what theyre about but it has something to do with Christians and admissions bans agains Gay, Lesbian, Bi or Transexual people. We are one of 14 institutions singled out by their campaign. Not that it makes a difference, but we dont have a ban on GLBT students. Well anyways.. as this was discussed in Chapel Dr. Money (sighing and heart palpitations did in fact occur) proposed different responses to this. He said we could charge them with trespassing and have them arrested. This was said in sarcasm but was followed by a Woop by some dude joking around (I would hope) and followed by laughing and cheering, something I hoped was in response to the woop but I fear was also in favor by some to the arresting of the campaigners. He then offered the option of treating them like any other guests on campus, with kindness, interest and dialogue. I heard some Thank yous yelled by others like myself and I realized I was clapping and saying the same thing before I realized the passion and disgust the previous response instilled. There are some things I can tolerate in the world, hating people with different opinions is not one of them. Thus.. I am excited to see the discussions incurred by the presence of Soulforce on our campus. Some of these students, including myself, need a challenge.
Long winded Phyllis.... If you are bored.. click the next blog in your favorites.. this is for my own personal catharsis. Although some of you may find it interesting. I wont take offense if you dont.
Today I found out that I cant be certified in ESL with my degree not being in education. That would have been a duh type situation had my advisor mentioned to me that he was not sure what the requirements were rather than just telling me that yes it was true and I should go ahead and jump into the 12 hours of courses. So I found out tonight. Its not a huge deal.. I get an endorsement rather than a certification. But still. There are other classes that might be more useful to me than read/write/connect or English Grammar. Seriously.. perhaps a business class, or something that would be helpful to future endeavors. So Im stuck. Do I stick with it and get an ESL endorsement in hopes that some highschool will emergency certify me and Ill be good to go.. Or do I only take the two classes I am now enrolled in and get certified later when I know I want to teach it. I can always take a summer course and get the cert. So Im stuck. The cool thing is that after chapel on Wednesday when they talked about owning your own dream instead of running on the coattails of someone elses (in response to MLK day and his dream) I realized that I have already taken ownership of this dream. To the point where I have openly told a couple people my dream. That freaked me out a little bit but it felt right. And that means a lot. Today in my ESL class I wrote on my Self Portrait page that my dream was to open a cafe as a starting point for a ministry that encourages service and missions in an international context. Wow. That is like only a sliver of the mission statement but it feels right.
So. What does this mean? I am taking serious consideration of the things I would need to get there. For the first time I am considering going and getting an MBA. I think for a long time I avoided it because my dad pushed it so hard even though he wasnt happyin his own business adventures. SO .. we'll see.. but God is pulling rugs underneath me left and right...
I got lost in Abilene today.. actually I just missed a couple exits. I was distracted. I apparently like taking Treadaway to school.
I set off the alarm at work last night. I am an idiot. Oh well. First closing alone time. I was proud of everything else. Hey its not my fault he only showed me how to leave not how to go back in when I forgot my wallet and car keys inside the locked alarmed building. Woopsie.
Today in chapel we found out that the Soulforce is coming to ACU. Im not sure exactly what theyre about but it has something to do with Christians and admissions bans agains Gay, Lesbian, Bi or Transexual people. We are one of 14 institutions singled out by their campaign. Not that it makes a difference, but we dont have a ban on GLBT students. Well anyways.. as this was discussed in Chapel Dr. Money (sighing and heart palpitations did in fact occur) proposed different responses to this. He said we could charge them with trespassing and have them arrested. This was said in sarcasm but was followed by a Woop by some dude joking around (I would hope) and followed by laughing and cheering, something I hoped was in response to the woop but I fear was also in favor by some to the arresting of the campaigners. He then offered the option of treating them like any other guests on campus, with kindness, interest and dialogue. I heard some Thank yous yelled by others like myself and I realized I was clapping and saying the same thing before I realized the passion and disgust the previous response instilled. There are some things I can tolerate in the world, hating people with different opinions is not one of them. Thus.. I am excited to see the discussions incurred by the presence of Soulforce on our campus. Some of these students, including myself, need a challenge.
Long winded Phyllis.... If you are bored.. click the next blog in your favorites.. this is for my own personal catharsis. Although some of you may find it interesting. I wont take offense if you dont.
Today I found out that I cant be certified in ESL with my degree not being in education. That would have been a duh type situation had my advisor mentioned to me that he was not sure what the requirements were rather than just telling me that yes it was true and I should go ahead and jump into the 12 hours of courses. So I found out tonight. Its not a huge deal.. I get an endorsement rather than a certification. But still. There are other classes that might be more useful to me than read/write/connect or English Grammar. Seriously.. perhaps a business class, or something that would be helpful to future endeavors. So Im stuck. Do I stick with it and get an ESL endorsement in hopes that some highschool will emergency certify me and Ill be good to go.. Or do I only take the two classes I am now enrolled in and get certified later when I know I want to teach it. I can always take a summer course and get the cert. So Im stuck. The cool thing is that after chapel on Wednesday when they talked about owning your own dream instead of running on the coattails of someone elses (in response to MLK day and his dream) I realized that I have already taken ownership of this dream. To the point where I have openly told a couple people my dream. That freaked me out a little bit but it felt right. And that means a lot. Today in my ESL class I wrote on my Self Portrait page that my dream was to open a cafe as a starting point for a ministry that encourages service and missions in an international context. Wow. That is like only a sliver of the mission statement but it feels right.
So. What does this mean? I am taking serious consideration of the things I would need to get there. For the first time I am considering going and getting an MBA. I think for a long time I avoided it because my dad pushed it so hard even though he wasnt happyin his own business adventures. SO .. we'll see.. but God is pulling rugs underneath me left and right...
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Finding Home
Classes started today. But thats nothing.
For the first time in a long long long time, I found home in myself again. I have finally found who I have not been for such a long time, and for such a long time has missed being.
If that doesnt make sense to you, dont worry. I feel at home with myself. And how did I find it? Well I have found where God fits in me. Or rather where I fit in God. I have struggled with it for so long. Do I have to be a missionary to be a good Christian? Can I only go to church once a week and still be a Christian? Can I be an unfaithful person and still be ok in God's eyes? The answer. I don't have to fit God into whatever turn my life goes in. I don't have to cut a God shaped box in my heart and slip Him in. What I need to do is allow myself to live IN HIM. That is such a cliche thing but I have realized it today. How? Well I dont know. But let me explain a moment to you.
I was in chapel today. I got there and felt the grumbles begin. I didn't want to be there, or I didnt want anyone to think I did. I didnt know whether I wanted to be there or not. I had had so many moments over the past years full of cynicism: All they do is sing no one cares what they say. And then the times where I could see the people with eyes closed and hearts bursting for God and think Showoffs.. they dont mean it. Rediculous.
Something happened in chapel today however. Blessed be thy name. The version where it talks about Blessing Gods name when the world is right or if the world is all wrong. Every time I hear that song I think of my life and see how much God has blessed my name. And I kind of realize as well how little glory I give to God for it. I thank him for the perseverence and character he gives me, but never really ask for more. I never really want to trust my life to more of his "teachings".
The other half of it is this: I am kind of scared to become a "christian girl". The one who glows with love and character, with hospitality and gentleness. The girl who goes on mission trips and babysits for free. I don't want to slip into the "cliche christian girl". The girl all boys think they can bring home to mom cuz they are the "right kind of girl". I dont want to be cast as that girl. Its not that I dont want to be a good person, a person who loves God, or a person of good moral character who is good enough to bring home to mom. I do however want people to see me, see my character and see the flaws as well as the perfections. I want to be a servant of Christ but not one that blindly follows cuz its in the church bulletin. So how do I set myself apart. Well now theres another thought. I am desiring to set myself apart. From good Christian people. So what does that mean? Am I a holier than thou? or do I just desire a genuine faith so that people can taste and see that the Lord is good? My family wont find God because I am "good to bring home to the fam". Thats too "transparent". Rugged Christianity is what I want. And yet that requires truth, confession, and brutal forgiveness, mercy and humility. Much of which I am also petrified.
So I am struggling with where God fits in my heart. Or I was anyway. Until I closed my eyes and sang "Blessed be thy Name" your GLORIOUS NAME! and it all melted away. It was good that I was wrestling with my faith, but even better knowing that God was glorious whether I was Cookie Cutter Christian or Rugged Hardcore Christian. Hey maybe I can just be Phyllis Chill aspiring to be more like the Christ who has been with me from creation.
A song that breaks my heart in a good way:
JARS OF CLAY LYRICS
"Worlds Apart"
I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all adds up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die
To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache
Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees
All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me
Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart
[Additional lyrics:]
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now,take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I praytake my world apart
For the first time in a long long long time, I found home in myself again. I have finally found who I have not been for such a long time, and for such a long time has missed being.
If that doesnt make sense to you, dont worry. I feel at home with myself. And how did I find it? Well I have found where God fits in me. Or rather where I fit in God. I have struggled with it for so long. Do I have to be a missionary to be a good Christian? Can I only go to church once a week and still be a Christian? Can I be an unfaithful person and still be ok in God's eyes? The answer. I don't have to fit God into whatever turn my life goes in. I don't have to cut a God shaped box in my heart and slip Him in. What I need to do is allow myself to live IN HIM. That is such a cliche thing but I have realized it today. How? Well I dont know. But let me explain a moment to you.
I was in chapel today. I got there and felt the grumbles begin. I didn't want to be there, or I didnt want anyone to think I did. I didnt know whether I wanted to be there or not. I had had so many moments over the past years full of cynicism: All they do is sing no one cares what they say. And then the times where I could see the people with eyes closed and hearts bursting for God and think Showoffs.. they dont mean it. Rediculous.
Something happened in chapel today however. Blessed be thy name. The version where it talks about Blessing Gods name when the world is right or if the world is all wrong. Every time I hear that song I think of my life and see how much God has blessed my name. And I kind of realize as well how little glory I give to God for it. I thank him for the perseverence and character he gives me, but never really ask for more. I never really want to trust my life to more of his "teachings".
The other half of it is this: I am kind of scared to become a "christian girl". The one who glows with love and character, with hospitality and gentleness. The girl who goes on mission trips and babysits for free. I don't want to slip into the "cliche christian girl". The girl all boys think they can bring home to mom cuz they are the "right kind of girl". I dont want to be cast as that girl. Its not that I dont want to be a good person, a person who loves God, or a person of good moral character who is good enough to bring home to mom. I do however want people to see me, see my character and see the flaws as well as the perfections. I want to be a servant of Christ but not one that blindly follows cuz its in the church bulletin. So how do I set myself apart. Well now theres another thought. I am desiring to set myself apart. From good Christian people. So what does that mean? Am I a holier than thou? or do I just desire a genuine faith so that people can taste and see that the Lord is good? My family wont find God because I am "good to bring home to the fam". Thats too "transparent". Rugged Christianity is what I want. And yet that requires truth, confession, and brutal forgiveness, mercy and humility. Much of which I am also petrified.
So I am struggling with where God fits in my heart. Or I was anyway. Until I closed my eyes and sang "Blessed be thy Name" your GLORIOUS NAME! and it all melted away. It was good that I was wrestling with my faith, but even better knowing that God was glorious whether I was Cookie Cutter Christian or Rugged Hardcore Christian. Hey maybe I can just be Phyllis Chill aspiring to be more like the Christ who has been with me from creation.
A song that breaks my heart in a good way:
JARS OF CLAY LYRICS
"Worlds Apart"
I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all adds up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die
To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache
Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees
All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me
Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart
[Additional lyrics:]
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now,take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I praytake my world apart
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Um. I got a promotion. And a raise. Yum.
So I went in this morning for my first day of work at Third Rock Creamery and Coffee. The Ice Cream consultant had come in from Fort Worth and spent the day teaching us (the manager and assistant managers.. um yah apparently Im one of those!!) how to run the machine and different recipes. It was a fun but long day. 9-5. Literally. The craziness of opening a store ensued. The electrician n came to fix the espresso machine. I talked to the seller on the phone to figure it out. I got it turned on and heating up when the ELECTRICIAN decided she needed to move the machine. That cracked a pipe and it stopped working. This is a five thousand dollar italian machine. There are no manufacturers in texas to fix it in three days. SOOOOO we called the supplier again and the other asst manager had to drive to and from FW to bring it back tonight to be hooked up tomorrow so i can FINALLY start running recipes. Ugh. Well so the day was spent learning ice cream stuff. The machine is easy and the ice cream is AMAZING. man. Im gonna be FAT.
So the fun continued for hours untill about three oclock in the afternoon when the plumbers came to fix the ice machine and turned off a water valve that happened to also be connected to the ice cream machine we were about to run another batch through. Well twenty minutes later after the plumber had left.. the ice cream machine wasnt working. We called suppliers and technicians. It wasnt fixed when I left but will be.. apparently.. tomorrow. So Third Rock Creamery and Coffee has neither the former or the latter.. and we open on wednesday. Umm. wow.. BUT all will come together in the end. I trust that it will.
It has been a bewildering day. An eye opener. But a great light is at the end of so many tunnels..
I am excited to return to work tomorrow and continue the adventure.. for now.. sleep.
So the fun continued for hours untill about three oclock in the afternoon when the plumbers came to fix the ice machine and turned off a water valve that happened to also be connected to the ice cream machine we were about to run another batch through. Well twenty minutes later after the plumber had left.. the ice cream machine wasnt working. We called suppliers and technicians. It wasnt fixed when I left but will be.. apparently.. tomorrow. So Third Rock Creamery and Coffee has neither the former or the latter.. and we open on wednesday. Umm. wow.. BUT all will come together in the end. I trust that it will.
It has been a bewildering day. An eye opener. But a great light is at the end of so many tunnels..
I am excited to return to work tomorrow and continue the adventure.. for now.. sleep.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
A blank day...
Have you ever woken up and wished the day you were beginning would not exist. Not that you want to die, but just that you wish it would be the next day already. That was today. After a long night of not great sleep I woke up and turned off my alarm. At about 10am I woke up again and forced myself to get ready to take a shower and wait for the call from my boss saying I could come in to work. Its not often you are eagerly awaiting that call. Well I got the call as I turned on the water for my shower. It was not the call I expected. Rather the shipments of coffee and other things we would need for the day wouldnt be there til tomorrow, Thursday. Well I chuckled and said "no problem, see you tomorrow". And slumped. I turned off my shower threw my pjs on again.. ehem.. and then fell asleep again. This time I slept relatively well until about 1pm. Due to paws and meows I finally got up and made my self presentable to the world. Not that I presented myself to it.. I didnt. Instead the day was spent setting up my schedule board, eating crappy steak express, and attempting to Oxy away the nasty stains on my carpet. Fun.
Well all of my chores were done hours ago so now I am watching Smallville and sending weird messages to Brooke who I am jealous of for being at work.
Its strange. I know that it is probably not the best use of my day.. you know wishing it didnt exist... but I am so anxious for having something to do. Idleness is not my cup of tea. Patience isn't either. Maybe because I am so excited about this job God is teaching me a lesson. I don't know. All I know is that my dreams were all about coffee last night and they were restless. I am nervous. Noone should feel nervous to be a coffee barista, but I am. Like I said yesterday, I feel like this job is going to make or break my dream. Basically if I end up hating it I dont know what I will do..find a different dream.. or maybe keep going with my dream and assume it will be different when I am fulfilling God's will for me.
Here is a little nugget to chew on for those of you who are curious:
Connecting missions with real life is something that will always be incredibly valuable to me. I grew up in a youth group that tried its best to follow up on mission trips and other acts of service. Unfortunately there was never a real tie between the foreign countries we served and our lives as highschoolers. So how do we make the tie. That tie is what awakes our desire to help those in need, those around the corner and those in the far corners of the world. Win Build Equip Send was the motto for our youth group in highschool. My youth pastor did a great job doing the first three, but in order for the equipped to be sent, that connection must be made mentally and spiritually. A person needs to see the eyes of the person their life choices affect. Serving those who sew the clothes we wear, loving the children who live on the wages their parents make from those jobs, and opening opportunities for improving the lives of both. So how do we do that? Well I dont know exactly quite yet. But my vision is to find it. And my dream is big.
Well all of my chores were done hours ago so now I am watching Smallville and sending weird messages to Brooke who I am jealous of for being at work.
Its strange. I know that it is probably not the best use of my day.. you know wishing it didnt exist... but I am so anxious for having something to do. Idleness is not my cup of tea. Patience isn't either. Maybe because I am so excited about this job God is teaching me a lesson. I don't know. All I know is that my dreams were all about coffee last night and they were restless. I am nervous. Noone should feel nervous to be a coffee barista, but I am. Like I said yesterday, I feel like this job is going to make or break my dream. Basically if I end up hating it I dont know what I will do..find a different dream.. or maybe keep going with my dream and assume it will be different when I am fulfilling God's will for me.
Here is a little nugget to chew on for those of you who are curious:
Connecting missions with real life is something that will always be incredibly valuable to me. I grew up in a youth group that tried its best to follow up on mission trips and other acts of service. Unfortunately there was never a real tie between the foreign countries we served and our lives as highschoolers. So how do we make the tie. That tie is what awakes our desire to help those in need, those around the corner and those in the far corners of the world. Win Build Equip Send was the motto for our youth group in highschool. My youth pastor did a great job doing the first three, but in order for the equipped to be sent, that connection must be made mentally and spiritually. A person needs to see the eyes of the person their life choices affect. Serving those who sew the clothes we wear, loving the children who live on the wages their parents make from those jobs, and opening opportunities for improving the lives of both. So how do we do that? Well I dont know exactly quite yet. But my vision is to find it. And my dream is big.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Hotter than Hades.
So it is January 3 and it is 90 degrees outside. HOLLY CRAPP! yes craziness.
So I havent posted in well.. awhile.. so here I am.
My new years was fantastic. Brooke Jules and I went to IHOP for dinner at about 11pm. Brooke and I made it back to her place by the dropping of the ball and hung out making fun of stupidface Haley Duff while silently enjoying her music and being jealous. The past few days has been full of girl lunches, sleeping through church, Mona Lisa Smile, and Coffee. Yes Coffee.
SO MUCH COFFEE. Actually I havent gotten to the point of consuming it yet. I start that tomorrow. This week I have been putting together my training packet for next week when I Phyllis Chill train the employees on how to operate an espresso machine and create beautiful jitter starters.
Im kind of perplexed by the position I have been put in. One I havent actually made an espresso drink since 2 summers ago. Two I have never really been the one to know the ins and outs of the machine, that was all taken care of by management or corporate. And Three I have never worked at a privately owned cafe. All of this leads me to the conclusion that this is going to be an adventure. I am caught up in a fairly complicated but interesting situation.
The other part that kind of freaks me out is that this is preparing me for my future dream. Yes that dream that I have yet to mention on my blog despite its overtaking of my mind and thought process. This is the dream that has invoked a hope and desire to succeed and depend on God cuz there aint NO way I could ever do it by myself. Lydia, my darling, I hope still aspires to be my partner in this dream although I will be quite understanding if God takes her in another direction. Im stalling. I really am. It is one thing to talk and dream about something. It is quite another to confess it and type it out in front of me. I dont want to jinx it. I really dont.
This is a dream that has only just become something conceivable in my eyes. It has always been in the background as a fallback if I never know what I want to be when I grow up. I have always wanted to make a difference in the world. To build great relationships but most importantly influence people, especially youth and college students, to be world changers themselves. In my eyes there is no better way to change the world than multiply yourself into hundreds of world change focused youth. The church of tomorrow, the church of today. Man.
So my dream. Do I dare confess it? Do I? I fear the rejection of my peers as well as my family. Although I already have so many supporters in my mom, sister and even my aunt who I love dearly for literally giggling and bubbling with excitement when I told her. Much better than the horrible answer and discouragement I got from other parts of my family. Although they really never got to see the vision and Im not sure they would approve of it if they did. Either way. Its my dream.. and its a big one.
Because of this dream I have been thinking about stephen a lot lately. Not because I want to get back together with him, but because we dreamed a lot together. We would spend hours talking things through, ideas, hopes, questions what have you. I miss that. I wish I could sit down with him and talk this through for hours. I dont think thats possible. but maybe. Thank God for Brooke who brings up my dream daily to remind me its possible, and its a great dream.
I dont think I will divulge my dream just yet. Maybe tomorrow. Or next week. Maybe in ten years when it has come true. Until then. Be praying and keep your eye out for it. You'll know it when you see it.. You'll know it when you feel its effects on the worldchangers of today.
God only you have the power and the might to do this. You planted this dream in my head. Give me the vision, drive and confidence to follow through with something for once in my life.
So I havent posted in well.. awhile.. so here I am.
My new years was fantastic. Brooke Jules and I went to IHOP for dinner at about 11pm. Brooke and I made it back to her place by the dropping of the ball and hung out making fun of stupidface Haley Duff while silently enjoying her music and being jealous. The past few days has been full of girl lunches, sleeping through church, Mona Lisa Smile, and Coffee. Yes Coffee.
SO MUCH COFFEE. Actually I havent gotten to the point of consuming it yet. I start that tomorrow. This week I have been putting together my training packet for next week when I Phyllis Chill train the employees on how to operate an espresso machine and create beautiful jitter starters.
Im kind of perplexed by the position I have been put in. One I havent actually made an espresso drink since 2 summers ago. Two I have never really been the one to know the ins and outs of the machine, that was all taken care of by management or corporate. And Three I have never worked at a privately owned cafe. All of this leads me to the conclusion that this is going to be an adventure. I am caught up in a fairly complicated but interesting situation.
The other part that kind of freaks me out is that this is preparing me for my future dream. Yes that dream that I have yet to mention on my blog despite its overtaking of my mind and thought process. This is the dream that has invoked a hope and desire to succeed and depend on God cuz there aint NO way I could ever do it by myself. Lydia, my darling, I hope still aspires to be my partner in this dream although I will be quite understanding if God takes her in another direction. Im stalling. I really am. It is one thing to talk and dream about something. It is quite another to confess it and type it out in front of me. I dont want to jinx it. I really dont.
This is a dream that has only just become something conceivable in my eyes. It has always been in the background as a fallback if I never know what I want to be when I grow up. I have always wanted to make a difference in the world. To build great relationships but most importantly influence people, especially youth and college students, to be world changers themselves. In my eyes there is no better way to change the world than multiply yourself into hundreds of world change focused youth. The church of tomorrow, the church of today. Man.
So my dream. Do I dare confess it? Do I? I fear the rejection of my peers as well as my family. Although I already have so many supporters in my mom, sister and even my aunt who I love dearly for literally giggling and bubbling with excitement when I told her. Much better than the horrible answer and discouragement I got from other parts of my family. Although they really never got to see the vision and Im not sure they would approve of it if they did. Either way. Its my dream.. and its a big one.
Because of this dream I have been thinking about stephen a lot lately. Not because I want to get back together with him, but because we dreamed a lot together. We would spend hours talking things through, ideas, hopes, questions what have you. I miss that. I wish I could sit down with him and talk this through for hours. I dont think thats possible. but maybe. Thank God for Brooke who brings up my dream daily to remind me its possible, and its a great dream.
I dont think I will divulge my dream just yet. Maybe tomorrow. Or next week. Maybe in ten years when it has come true. Until then. Be praying and keep your eye out for it. You'll know it when you see it.. You'll know it when you feel its effects on the worldchangers of today.
God only you have the power and the might to do this. You planted this dream in my head. Give me the vision, drive and confidence to follow through with something for once in my life.
Monday, December 26, 2005
Coming Home..again.
Wow.. my vacation in Michigan is coming to a close. I got to see Shyle and Lydia. Man. I missed them soooooo dearly.
Spent most of the weekend back and forth between family stuff. Drinking lots of Mountain Dew, Dayquil and tea. Playing lots of Poker, Craps, and BlackJack. Frosting lots of Xmas cookies and watching LOTS of Alias. All of Season four to be exact. MAN I NEVER SAW THAT ENDING coming from aMILE away. Sheesh.
It has been great to see everyone. BUT I miss Atown. I miss my bed, my cats, my compy. I miss relaxing. I wont miss the small talk. I love my family and I love that they want to know how Im doing but I wish sometimes I could just wear a sign. It would probably read:
Phyllis Nicole Chill
Abilene, Texas (yes.. Bush country.. No I dont think he's an angel)
20 yrs. Junior at Abilene Christian University (yes people do party)
Spanish/International Studies/ESL
GPA 3.66
Graduate in May 07
I dont know what I am doing afterwards.
This semester was really rough. Worst Class: Mexican History Best Class: Gymnastics
No Stephen and I arent dating anymore.
Yes he spent this summer in Africa and he didnt die.
I live alone in my apt. with my two cats: Ada and Z.
I am staying in Abilene this summer for classes and work.
I will be working at a Cafe/Creamery.
I was in Uruguay studying last spring.
I worked in Mexico this summer.. missions.. high school students.
I wont be travelling abroad for awhile.
I will be back in Michigan for a wedding in May.
For more information: talk to me directly or check my blog
hahah.. Seriously.. now lets cut to real conversations and card games.
PS. Craps is officially really confusing but LOTS of fun. As is Texas Hold em.
Spent most of the weekend back and forth between family stuff. Drinking lots of Mountain Dew, Dayquil and tea. Playing lots of Poker, Craps, and BlackJack. Frosting lots of Xmas cookies and watching LOTS of Alias. All of Season four to be exact. MAN I NEVER SAW THAT ENDING coming from aMILE away. Sheesh.
It has been great to see everyone. BUT I miss Atown. I miss my bed, my cats, my compy. I miss relaxing. I wont miss the small talk. I love my family and I love that they want to know how Im doing but I wish sometimes I could just wear a sign. It would probably read:
Phyllis Nicole Chill
Abilene, Texas (yes.. Bush country.. No I dont think he's an angel)
20 yrs. Junior at Abilene Christian University (yes people do party)
Spanish/International Studies/ESL
GPA 3.66
Graduate in May 07
I dont know what I am doing afterwards.
This semester was really rough. Worst Class: Mexican History Best Class: Gymnastics
No Stephen and I arent dating anymore.
Yes he spent this summer in Africa and he didnt die.
I live alone in my apt. with my two cats: Ada and Z.
I am staying in Abilene this summer for classes and work.
I will be working at a Cafe/Creamery.
I was in Uruguay studying last spring.
I worked in Mexico this summer.. missions.. high school students.
I wont be travelling abroad for awhile.
I will be back in Michigan for a wedding in May.
For more information: talk to me directly or check my blog
hahah.. Seriously.. now lets cut to real conversations and card games.
PS. Craps is officially really confusing but LOTS of fun. As is Texas Hold em.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Ya regrese, ya me voy
Well I just got back from Juarez last night.
Man it was so amazing to see everybody again. I forgot how much I love everything about that city. I was real nervous driving my car around there, but it was easier to drive my little cochita than the big 15 passenger van. Crossing the border went smooth. Thank God for the gift of Gab when it comes to stressful situations.. we got inspected coming back from Juarez. Thats what happens when the passengers both have michigan IDs and a Michigan license plate and say they came down for a Quincenera.. one night.. thats it.. hahah.. he was like your nuts!
I got some great pics. It was hysterical to see Eileen in a dress and hating life. SHe hates being the center of attention. Oh was she!!!
The whole things started with a church service. The sanctuary was done up like a wedding.. Tulle-rific. Blue and white with these candle thins that kept falling over. About 30 minutes was spent greeting people. Some had come from far away.. others lived there. Then it started. The three escorts came in. This was hysterical because they are three of the most gangsterish, dark long haired, black finger nails, marilyn manson listening boys. They were in TUXES!!! they had to like wedding march in with the funny slow walk and stuff. Then Eileen was escorted in by her mom and dad. They had to help her from not falling cuz here heels were.. oh my gosh.. 4 inches and BRIGHT BLUE STRAPPY SCARINESS.. I about cried... She had her, eybrows, nails, makeup, strapless dress with like beaded blue and white corset.. FRIGHTENING.. but she was so pretty. She had a crown on and she was hiding behind all her straightened hair.. She sat down in a chair facing away from us and fidgeted through a 40 minute sermon about waiting to find the guy has for you, and living for what God desires etc. I had a hard time paying attention.
After the sermon he called up the parents and the godparents. They presented the bible, the ring, and a pillow that she then knelt on. Liz and I joined 9 other people (to represent fifteen in all, one for each year of her life) as she was prayed over and blessed. The ceremony ended and the next 40 minutes was for pictures and greetings again. Almost every candle got knocked over. hahah..all the kids were fast asleep on shoulders..
We all jumped in vans and cars and headed over to the reception hall. Ours was in the Penthouse suite. Basically the top floor with an amazing view of the city and it was private. We hung out for awhile until Eileen came in. They served cokes and dinner.. which wasnt very good. It was like this weird chicken that you had to eat with a spoon. a lot more difficult that worth the taste.. hahah.. it wasnt typical mexican dish. After that they did the waltzs. THIS WAS HYSTERICAL. Eilleen and her three escorts had to do all this choreographed waltzing.. All for of them wanted to cut themselves. they stared at the floor with zero rythem or desire to be there.. After that they had people go up and make some speeches. NOBODY wanted to. A couple of the gringos did, then a brother and a cousin. But neither parent did. it was weird. Dessert was served.. ehem.. I didnt eat any.. I was still reeling over dinner. People started to leave after that and the "dancing" was supposed to begin but it never really did. Everybody was exhausted so we all just mingled and talked. It was kind of dissappointing but it was cool.
We went home at about 2 in the morning and left for abilene at like 11 the next day. 2 and 1/2 hours were spent trying to cross the border.. the line was SOOOOOO long.. longer than I had seen it all summer. Everyone was leaving to xmas shop in El Paso. nuts.
Long drive. Long weekend.
I need to go repack for Michigan.. I go to dallas soon then off to Ann Arbor tomorrow.
Man it was so amazing to see everybody again. I forgot how much I love everything about that city. I was real nervous driving my car around there, but it was easier to drive my little cochita than the big 15 passenger van. Crossing the border went smooth. Thank God for the gift of Gab when it comes to stressful situations.. we got inspected coming back from Juarez. Thats what happens when the passengers both have michigan IDs and a Michigan license plate and say they came down for a Quincenera.. one night.. thats it.. hahah.. he was like your nuts!
I got some great pics. It was hysterical to see Eileen in a dress and hating life. SHe hates being the center of attention. Oh was she!!!
The whole things started with a church service. The sanctuary was done up like a wedding.. Tulle-rific. Blue and white with these candle thins that kept falling over. About 30 minutes was spent greeting people. Some had come from far away.. others lived there. Then it started. The three escorts came in. This was hysterical because they are three of the most gangsterish, dark long haired, black finger nails, marilyn manson listening boys. They were in TUXES!!! they had to like wedding march in with the funny slow walk and stuff. Then Eileen was escorted in by her mom and dad. They had to help her from not falling cuz here heels were.. oh my gosh.. 4 inches and BRIGHT BLUE STRAPPY SCARINESS.. I about cried... She had her, eybrows, nails, makeup, strapless dress with like beaded blue and white corset.. FRIGHTENING.. but she was so pretty. She had a crown on and she was hiding behind all her straightened hair.. She sat down in a chair facing away from us and fidgeted through a 40 minute sermon about waiting to find the guy has for you, and living for what God desires etc. I had a hard time paying attention.
After the sermon he called up the parents and the godparents. They presented the bible, the ring, and a pillow that she then knelt on. Liz and I joined 9 other people (to represent fifteen in all, one for each year of her life) as she was prayed over and blessed. The ceremony ended and the next 40 minutes was for pictures and greetings again. Almost every candle got knocked over. hahah..all the kids were fast asleep on shoulders..
We all jumped in vans and cars and headed over to the reception hall. Ours was in the Penthouse suite. Basically the top floor with an amazing view of the city and it was private. We hung out for awhile until Eileen came in. They served cokes and dinner.. which wasnt very good. It was like this weird chicken that you had to eat with a spoon. a lot more difficult that worth the taste.. hahah.. it wasnt typical mexican dish. After that they did the waltzs. THIS WAS HYSTERICAL. Eilleen and her three escorts had to do all this choreographed waltzing.. All for of them wanted to cut themselves. they stared at the floor with zero rythem or desire to be there.. After that they had people go up and make some speeches. NOBODY wanted to. A couple of the gringos did, then a brother and a cousin. But neither parent did. it was weird. Dessert was served.. ehem.. I didnt eat any.. I was still reeling over dinner. People started to leave after that and the "dancing" was supposed to begin but it never really did. Everybody was exhausted so we all just mingled and talked. It was kind of dissappointing but it was cool.
We went home at about 2 in the morning and left for abilene at like 11 the next day. 2 and 1/2 hours were spent trying to cross the border.. the line was SOOOOOO long.. longer than I had seen it all summer. Everyone was leaving to xmas shop in El Paso. nuts.
Long drive. Long weekend.
I need to go repack for Michigan.. I go to dallas soon then off to Ann Arbor tomorrow.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Done and Done!
I am finished! Finally! This semester is over! Woot! Woot WOOOOOOOOT!
This semester has been full of so much.. drama, studying, dancing, singing, craziness.
I feel like I should recount it.. but Ill save you the death.. I mean boredom.
I will however EXCLAIM that I got an A on my term paper!!!!! If anyone needs to know anything about Day of the Dead and Mexican Catholicism.. YOU LET ME KNOW!!
I have also learned that fighting with someone over IM in Spanish is way more infuriating that would normally be expected. Arg.
This semester has been full of so much.. drama, studying, dancing, singing, craziness.
I feel like I should recount it.. but Ill save you the death.. I mean boredom.
I will however EXCLAIM that I got an A on my term paper!!!!! If anyone needs to know anything about Day of the Dead and Mexican Catholicism.. YOU LET ME KNOW!!
I have also learned that fighting with someone over IM in Spanish is way more infuriating that would normally be expected. Arg.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
One night down one to go...
Well last night was opening night for Eth05! It was fantastic!
Our rehearsals this week were exhausting but the show went GREAT!
I have video of our tango (thanks jules!) and our brazilian dance. I am SOO proud of our tango I feel like it turned out really well. My partner rules! hahah..
It is so amazing to be a part of something so great! I feel like I have gained a thousand new friends from all over the world. Oh wait I have! Friends from India, Africa, Brazil, Madagascar, Colombia, Guatemala, Argentina, Mexico, Honduras, and so many other countries I cant remember right now! Craziness!
Well tonight is our last night, afterwards is the celebration and I am so READY for it! man!
Starting tomorrow I am in work mode again for this term paper. I really have to buckle down and get something written. Im hoping to turn in my Intro/Thesis for review fromt he Professor on Tuesday but I dont knwo if Ill get that far..
Well I need to start cleaning my house.. Its a disaster after this week!
See ya!
Our rehearsals this week were exhausting but the show went GREAT!
I have video of our tango (thanks jules!) and our brazilian dance. I am SOO proud of our tango I feel like it turned out really well. My partner rules! hahah..
It is so amazing to be a part of something so great! I feel like I have gained a thousand new friends from all over the world. Oh wait I have! Friends from India, Africa, Brazil, Madagascar, Colombia, Guatemala, Argentina, Mexico, Honduras, and so many other countries I cant remember right now! Craziness!
Well tonight is our last night, afterwards is the celebration and I am so READY for it! man!
Starting tomorrow I am in work mode again for this term paper. I really have to buckle down and get something written. Im hoping to turn in my Intro/Thesis for review fromt he Professor on Tuesday but I dont knwo if Ill get that far..
Well I need to start cleaning my house.. Its a disaster after this week!
See ya!
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Clearwire rules.
I am at starbucks. i have been here since about 5pm. it is pushing 8:20. I will be here another couple hours. I am on a study break right now. My mind is a flurry of spanish grammar... I have a test on tuesday and I am superdee duperdee nervous about it.
Friday night I went to Freshman Follies. No offense to those of you who were in the show.. but it wasnt worth 9 dollars. It was fun however to hang out with James. Hes fun.. itll be nice to have another crazy friend next semester.
After that I went over to Isaacs and watche he, jeremy and austin play some starwars video game. It was a blast. I miss watching Drew play for hours on end. Its like a movie I can get involved in. Plus it was fun to make fun of them when they sucked like I couldve done better... hahah not likely.
Saturday morning I went to Healing hands to help fold close for my Service Hours. I love it there. Kat is amazing and the girls that go from our class are so funny. I think Ill keep going to help out even after my hours are done. Kat has great stories and it is an amazingly impactful and passionate non profit!
I hit the Homer Hiccolm concert on Sat night.. that despite the crappy beore and after bands was SO worth the 10 bucks to get in. THey are amazing in concert. Wow. And great guys too!
After THAT.... the fun began. I went with jeremy and austin, to meet up with Isaac and a bunch of people I didnt know at this girls house who I didnt know. They were having a Salsa party, and it was SOOOOOO MUCH FUN. It has been so long since I have been in the social scene... let alone with a group of people I dont know. I didnt realize how much I missed hanging out with new people, groups of people, doing social things. Something God has pushed me to do this semester is spread out my time between lots of different people.. push my bubble a little bit to include people Im not used to, people that think differently, and people that intimidate the hell out of me. I have learned so much. I am so grateful to all the opportunities I have had to do it thus far this semester. It is busy and hectic, but I wouldnt trade it for anything. Its nice to have the challenge of a schedule, work, school, social..
crap ok Im off to studying again.
Friday night I went to Freshman Follies. No offense to those of you who were in the show.. but it wasnt worth 9 dollars. It was fun however to hang out with James. Hes fun.. itll be nice to have another crazy friend next semester.
After that I went over to Isaacs and watche he, jeremy and austin play some starwars video game. It was a blast. I miss watching Drew play for hours on end. Its like a movie I can get involved in. Plus it was fun to make fun of them when they sucked like I couldve done better... hahah not likely.
Saturday morning I went to Healing hands to help fold close for my Service Hours. I love it there. Kat is amazing and the girls that go from our class are so funny. I think Ill keep going to help out even after my hours are done. Kat has great stories and it is an amazingly impactful and passionate non profit!
I hit the Homer Hiccolm concert on Sat night.. that despite the crappy beore and after bands was SO worth the 10 bucks to get in. THey are amazing in concert. Wow. And great guys too!
After THAT.... the fun began. I went with jeremy and austin, to meet up with Isaac and a bunch of people I didnt know at this girls house who I didnt know. They were having a Salsa party, and it was SOOOOOO MUCH FUN. It has been so long since I have been in the social scene... let alone with a group of people I dont know. I didnt realize how much I missed hanging out with new people, groups of people, doing social things. Something God has pushed me to do this semester is spread out my time between lots of different people.. push my bubble a little bit to include people Im not used to, people that think differently, and people that intimidate the hell out of me. I have learned so much. I am so grateful to all the opportunities I have had to do it thus far this semester. It is busy and hectic, but I wouldnt trade it for anything. Its nice to have the challenge of a schedule, work, school, social..
crap ok Im off to studying again.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
A hard day to be alone
Today was a hard day. I had a bummer of a test this morning. Ithink I did alright but it was really depressing to feel so stressed and unprepared despite the hours of studying I put in.
I also realized that this week is roughly the five year anniversary of the death of Ryan, Adam, David and John. Those of you that dont know they are four friends who died in a car accident my freshman year of highschool. I havent really thought about it in a long time. I havent really had to. Along with that comes every thing else. Dan and Andy who drown freshman year of college, my friend adam who died of cancer, my grandma whom I miss so dearly. It is hard to have them all within the same couple months. It just lumps together and hits so hard sometimes.
I sound like a downer. I am a downer. Oh well.
The past week has been a week of odd emotional rollercoasters. One minute I feel content and confident, the next I am in a sea of confusion and emotional inadequacy. Usually my feet land on the ground but today has been a tough fight for it.
I missed my mom last week. I needed one of her wonderful back massages soooo bad. I hated that I couldnt go home and get one, and then talk for hours. I miss my mom. Dearly.
I also realized that this week is roughly the five year anniversary of the death of Ryan, Adam, David and John. Those of you that dont know they are four friends who died in a car accident my freshman year of highschool. I havent really thought about it in a long time. I havent really had to. Along with that comes every thing else. Dan and Andy who drown freshman year of college, my friend adam who died of cancer, my grandma whom I miss so dearly. It is hard to have them all within the same couple months. It just lumps together and hits so hard sometimes.
I sound like a downer. I am a downer. Oh well.
The past week has been a week of odd emotional rollercoasters. One minute I feel content and confident, the next I am in a sea of confusion and emotional inadequacy. Usually my feet land on the ground but today has been a tough fight for it.
I missed my mom last week. I needed one of her wonderful back massages soooo bad. I hated that I couldnt go home and get one, and then talk for hours. I miss my mom. Dearly.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Take Two
Abilene is taking in evacuees again.
Prayers for the families and the people still stuck in houston and surrounding areas.
Prayers for the families and the people still stuck in houston and surrounding areas.
More,..
Things just add up so quickly...
So I in October Youthworks is coming to promote the summer employee stuff.. which means I "get to" help with promo stuff for their showcase meeting. Basically just fliers etc. and then going to the meeting and fielding questions.
Im also on the Costume Design team for Ethnos now. The crew is awesome and these designs are kickin! Its gonna be an amazing show! Itll be busy though. They want a photo shoot on Sunday. That seems pretty pronto for putting a whole design together but we'll see how it goes..
I have a test in my Mexico Growth and Culture class on monday. Not excited about that.
Oh yah.. singing went pretty well on Wednesday. I think we sounded pretty good. The perfectionist in me has to say we screwed up pretty bad on our third song.. they also apparently didnt know we were doing a closing song and turned off our mikes.. Oh well. It was a good first performance. We sing for Hispanos Unidos Chapel tomorrow.. hopefully that will go better.
It has been so amazing getting to know all these new people this semester. It is really liberating. I dont think I realized how much I sheltered myself. I think thats what I needed the last few years. But right now I can feel that I am right where God wants me to be. Busy and courageous, initiative and completely humbled...
ESL was fun today.. we dont have class on Friday. That makes me sad. But I also dont have nutrition class so its a free afternoon for me. I think. Oh yah except we have a Majors retreat this weekend. So if I dont answer my phone thats why.
My cats are cute.
Today I was looking through my pics of this summer and miss Juarez SOO much. That was the hardest summer ever, and I dont know if I will ever have the strength to do it again, but man it was amazing!!!
I updated some pics onto my webshots... check em out. Ill put apt. pics up soon too. I promise!
So I in October Youthworks is coming to promote the summer employee stuff.. which means I "get to" help with promo stuff for their showcase meeting. Basically just fliers etc. and then going to the meeting and fielding questions.
Im also on the Costume Design team for Ethnos now. The crew is awesome and these designs are kickin! Its gonna be an amazing show! Itll be busy though. They want a photo shoot on Sunday. That seems pretty pronto for putting a whole design together but we'll see how it goes..
I have a test in my Mexico Growth and Culture class on monday. Not excited about that.
Oh yah.. singing went pretty well on Wednesday. I think we sounded pretty good. The perfectionist in me has to say we screwed up pretty bad on our third song.. they also apparently didnt know we were doing a closing song and turned off our mikes.. Oh well. It was a good first performance. We sing for Hispanos Unidos Chapel tomorrow.. hopefully that will go better.
It has been so amazing getting to know all these new people this semester. It is really liberating. I dont think I realized how much I sheltered myself. I think thats what I needed the last few years. But right now I can feel that I am right where God wants me to be. Busy and courageous, initiative and completely humbled...
ESL was fun today.. we dont have class on Friday. That makes me sad. But I also dont have nutrition class so its a free afternoon for me. I think. Oh yah except we have a Majors retreat this weekend. So if I dont answer my phone thats why.
My cats are cute.
Today I was looking through my pics of this summer and miss Juarez SOO much. That was the hardest summer ever, and I dont know if I will ever have the strength to do it again, but man it was amazing!!!
I updated some pics onto my webshots... check em out. Ill put apt. pics up soon too. I promise!
Sunday, September 18, 2005
News
Lots of new stuff has come about this week:
I aced my tests in French and Nutrition. That was quite exciting
I am going to be in the Culture Show.. Support Ethnos! Woot Woot! Ill be dancing with the Brazilian group and maybe acting/singing some as well. We'll see.
I am on the Praise team for Hispanos Unidos. Our first performance is wednesday in chapel. Yah thats right. I and my 7 or so teammates will be singing in front of hundreds of people. Im sorry but that is really weird. It has been years since I have sang in public.
We had a tango "workshop" on Friday night in the UP parking lot. It was a blast. Word to Isaac, Maria, courtney, Tisha and Alex who caught on quick! Y'all rock!
This week is the Study Abroad fair... I get to be susie studyabroad again..
ESL has been going great... We learned colors this week. Try explaining the difference between silver and grey, tan and offwhite, chocolate and brown, and why grey isnt light black or dark white.
My apartment finally smells good again. That makes life easy. Im not going to explain why it smelled so bad.
Thank you to Justin something freshman kid who found my cellphone outside of moody and called Ali. If you want her number gimme a hollah... Alibear rocks. Hahah.
I have no food in my house right now. none. literally. Ok well except soup, stale tortilla chips, and potpies.
I am sick of studying already.
I aced my tests in French and Nutrition. That was quite exciting
I am going to be in the Culture Show.. Support Ethnos! Woot Woot! Ill be dancing with the Brazilian group and maybe acting/singing some as well. We'll see.
I am on the Praise team for Hispanos Unidos. Our first performance is wednesday in chapel. Yah thats right. I and my 7 or so teammates will be singing in front of hundreds of people. Im sorry but that is really weird. It has been years since I have sang in public.
We had a tango "workshop" on Friday night in the UP parking lot. It was a blast. Word to Isaac, Maria, courtney, Tisha and Alex who caught on quick! Y'all rock!
This week is the Study Abroad fair... I get to be susie studyabroad again..
ESL has been going great... We learned colors this week. Try explaining the difference between silver and grey, tan and offwhite, chocolate and brown, and why grey isnt light black or dark white.
My apartment finally smells good again. That makes life easy. Im not going to explain why it smelled so bad.
Thank you to Justin something freshman kid who found my cellphone outside of moody and called Ali. If you want her number gimme a hollah... Alibear rocks. Hahah.
I have no food in my house right now. none. literally. Ok well except soup, stale tortilla chips, and potpies.
I am sick of studying already.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Its been awhile
Man it has been awhile since I have posted.
Classes are going pretty well.. it has been a crazy busy couple of weeks. On top of classes I am assistant teaching an ESL conversation class. It is a lot of fun.. I have three students . Alberik from Burundi, Serge from Rwanda and Pascal from the Congo. They are all sweet guys. Their english is pretty low but we are working on it and they have already improved!! It is weird having an actual job. But it feels really good on the same note.
This week has been a week of new things. I have been trying to go out on a limb socially.. you know like I went to a concert friday where I wasnt sure if I knew anybody going. I have been going to Hispanos Unidos chapel.. where I know people but have met many new faces. I went to the first Study Abroad interest meeting this week and yucked it up about Study Abroad with freshmen, alumni, what have you. It has been really cool. I have made some really good friends, and I am excited about it. It is nice to meet people who are excited about the same things.
God has been stretching me these past few weeks. In so many ways. I have been tested a couple of times too. That has been interesting. Some of you know what I am talking about. Some of you dont..
My mom got hurt last week and I didnt know about it. That is a terrifying feeling. I hate living so far away and being out of the loop. It is so hard to know how she is doing. I worry.. a lot.
My dad is in China. I hope he is enjoying it.
I love my apt. I love living alone. It is amazing. It is messy right now and that drives me nuts.
Classes are going pretty well.. it has been a crazy busy couple of weeks. On top of classes I am assistant teaching an ESL conversation class. It is a lot of fun.. I have three students . Alberik from Burundi, Serge from Rwanda and Pascal from the Congo. They are all sweet guys. Their english is pretty low but we are working on it and they have already improved!! It is weird having an actual job. But it feels really good on the same note.
This week has been a week of new things. I have been trying to go out on a limb socially.. you know like I went to a concert friday where I wasnt sure if I knew anybody going. I have been going to Hispanos Unidos chapel.. where I know people but have met many new faces. I went to the first Study Abroad interest meeting this week and yucked it up about Study Abroad with freshmen, alumni, what have you. It has been really cool. I have made some really good friends, and I am excited about it. It is nice to meet people who are excited about the same things.
God has been stretching me these past few weeks. In so many ways. I have been tested a couple of times too. That has been interesting. Some of you know what I am talking about. Some of you dont..
My mom got hurt last week and I didnt know about it. That is a terrifying feeling. I hate living so far away and being out of the loop. It is so hard to know how she is doing. I worry.. a lot.
My dad is in China. I hope he is enjoying it.
I love my apt. I love living alone. It is amazing. It is messy right now and that drives me nuts.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Un Dia Normal
Pues, hoy decidí que quiero escribir algo en mi blog pero en honor de mi tarea, mi tarea del español, voy a escribirlo en español. Entonces...
Mis clases empezaron ayer.. tengo alguien que conozco en cada clase, y por eso mis clases estan bien. En mi clase de relaciones internacionales, vamos a trabajar con una organizacion que se llama Healing Hands. Esta organizacion ayuda a los misioneros de la iglesias de cristo en todos partes del mundo. Estoy animada que puedo trabajar con esta organizacion.. tambien quiero trabajar con International Refugee Committee, pero no se si voy a tener bastante tiempo por los dos.
Estoy hablando con Eilleen por MSN. Con todo mi ser les extraño a mis amigos en Juarez Mexico. A Juan, a Chiquis, Eilleen, Rosa, Anahy, Raquel y Uliel, sus hijos, a Octavio y Blanco, mi otro novio Viktor y Isai.... y todos! Al Pastor tambien! Quiero visitarles pronto pero tengo que esperar hasta octubre cuando tenemos vacaciones.. que lastima.
Lo siento a los que no se pueden leer en español! Pero que divertido!
Mis clases empezaron ayer.. tengo alguien que conozco en cada clase, y por eso mis clases estan bien. En mi clase de relaciones internacionales, vamos a trabajar con una organizacion que se llama Healing Hands. Esta organizacion ayuda a los misioneros de la iglesias de cristo en todos partes del mundo. Estoy animada que puedo trabajar con esta organizacion.. tambien quiero trabajar con International Refugee Committee, pero no se si voy a tener bastante tiempo por los dos.
Estoy hablando con Eilleen por MSN. Con todo mi ser les extraño a mis amigos en Juarez Mexico. A Juan, a Chiquis, Eilleen, Rosa, Anahy, Raquel y Uliel, sus hijos, a Octavio y Blanco, mi otro novio Viktor y Isai.... y todos! Al Pastor tambien! Quiero visitarles pronto pero tengo que esperar hasta octubre cuando tenemos vacaciones.. que lastima.
Lo siento a los que no se pueden leer en español! Pero que divertido!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
An odd day
So this morning I drove back home from a great two days with mom. The drive home was amazingly easier, despite having the cats too... Yay for having cats now! They will come especially in handy now that I am single. Yes that is right.. stephen and I broke up. It was a hard ending to an amazing relationship. But I really felt God calling me to a season of singleness that I have never had, that I really really need, and hope will bear much fruit. Stephen know I love you dearly. It is my own fault for not taking this time before. I was selfish. I pray for you and your continued wrestling match with God. I hope to see you on the Frisbee field.. I would hate to miss opportunity to be blessed by such awesome role models as the grad guys.. aka you and your roommates and friends. But I understand either way.
I have cats in my apartment.
I have an apartment.
I have a 19 hour semester coming up.
I have cats in my apartment.
I have an apartment.
I have a 19 hour semester coming up.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Livin it Sola!
Well I made it back from J town to A town on Tuesday. Stacy and I drove into Abilene from Juarez, got here around five, spent some time with dad and chillaxin around town then eagerly went to bed early. My new apartment is awesome! I love it! And it is amazing being alone! I hope I dont get sick of it! I dont think I will! I have gotten to see brooke, ali, stev and marcus, oh and luke but not really anyone else. Its still kind of early and people are crazy busy.
Our farewell to our community was so hard. I have such amazing relationships with our community in Juarez. The church families, my little KC monsters. It was just an amazing summer with lots of love poured out of all directions. I have been recieving emails from youth all summer, and now from community members!!! I miss Eilleen my favorite enemy! She is like 17 and feisty.. I had such a hard time breaking down her wall but once it crumbled we had so much fun. I miss Rosa, her friendship, our sisterhood and beautiful Anahy. I miss Chito, Chiquis, Reyna, Raquel and Uriel. I miss all of our weekend fun with clubs and soccer games. It is so strange to know the amazing family I have in that city. I hope they come to visit! I hope I can go back soon! Once I get some of these pictures on my computer Ill post them. I dont know when that will be my camera is in the shop again. But hey it has had a rough couple of months ya know?
It is strange to know that I am not going to be living in another country in two weeks. I feel like I should be leaving again. Well tomorrow I am going to missourri but I mean to like you know LIVE. It has been an amazingly challenging 7/8 months.
Spiritually I have really been faced with a lot of challenges. God has been showing me some things.
First is that 4 years ago, one spring break in mexico he ignited a fire in my heart that will never go out. It is a fire for hispanics, spanish, mexico and everything regarding that. God showed me that this passion is a gift and something I need to regard as precious. I see that now. That is obviously something that I need to remember when making decisions and thinking about my future. It is a factor. It is God's will. I don't know what He is going to do with it, but I can't wait to see!
Second I need to find out who I want to be in Christ. Christ is supposed to transform my life into something lovely. I have never given the chance for Him to do that. I need to take time to figure out how my life is integrated into His eternity, not how I integrate or fit Him into my lifestyle.
Third. God is all about relationships. I knew that but this summer made that so clear. This summer I often was running on about 2 hours of sleep because I had been up with community members and then had to keep working the next day. I always wondered when I would be tired. Then it hit me. These relationships are filling me more than actual rest. They are so important that I dont need sleep to ill me all the time. not necessarily that I can abuse my body with the expectation of his continual strength. But that when it comes to building relationships and loving on people, God will always fill you up more than you could ask for.
Four. I know nothing. I am weak. I struggle all the time. I am poor in spirit. and I absolutely do not deserve Gods faithfulness. And yet. He gives it freely. I am still wrestling with what exactly that means. But I do know that it is beautiful.
Five. God is in the midst of it all. He is in my school, my town, he is in Juarez, he is in the clubs, he is in the churches. He was in my Kids Club, and our worksites. Man. He just IS. Thats why he is the I AM. Cuz its true.
Our farewell to our community was so hard. I have such amazing relationships with our community in Juarez. The church families, my little KC monsters. It was just an amazing summer with lots of love poured out of all directions. I have been recieving emails from youth all summer, and now from community members!!! I miss Eilleen my favorite enemy! She is like 17 and feisty.. I had such a hard time breaking down her wall but once it crumbled we had so much fun. I miss Rosa, her friendship, our sisterhood and beautiful Anahy. I miss Chito, Chiquis, Reyna, Raquel and Uriel. I miss all of our weekend fun with clubs and soccer games. It is so strange to know the amazing family I have in that city. I hope they come to visit! I hope I can go back soon! Once I get some of these pictures on my computer Ill post them. I dont know when that will be my camera is in the shop again. But hey it has had a rough couple of months ya know?
It is strange to know that I am not going to be living in another country in two weeks. I feel like I should be leaving again. Well tomorrow I am going to missourri but I mean to like you know LIVE. It has been an amazingly challenging 7/8 months.
Spiritually I have really been faced with a lot of challenges. God has been showing me some things.
First is that 4 years ago, one spring break in mexico he ignited a fire in my heart that will never go out. It is a fire for hispanics, spanish, mexico and everything regarding that. God showed me that this passion is a gift and something I need to regard as precious. I see that now. That is obviously something that I need to remember when making decisions and thinking about my future. It is a factor. It is God's will. I don't know what He is going to do with it, but I can't wait to see!
Second I need to find out who I want to be in Christ. Christ is supposed to transform my life into something lovely. I have never given the chance for Him to do that. I need to take time to figure out how my life is integrated into His eternity, not how I integrate or fit Him into my lifestyle.
Third. God is all about relationships. I knew that but this summer made that so clear. This summer I often was running on about 2 hours of sleep because I had been up with community members and then had to keep working the next day. I always wondered when I would be tired. Then it hit me. These relationships are filling me more than actual rest. They are so important that I dont need sleep to ill me all the time. not necessarily that I can abuse my body with the expectation of his continual strength. But that when it comes to building relationships and loving on people, God will always fill you up more than you could ask for.
Four. I know nothing. I am weak. I struggle all the time. I am poor in spirit. and I absolutely do not deserve Gods faithfulness. And yet. He gives it freely. I am still wrestling with what exactly that means. But I do know that it is beautiful.
Five. God is in the midst of it all. He is in my school, my town, he is in Juarez, he is in the clubs, he is in the churches. He was in my Kids Club, and our worksites. Man. He just IS. Thats why he is the I AM. Cuz its true.
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