Ultimate..Pain

Got back from ACU Club Ultimate's very first Tournament today. It was an amazing weekend.. a lot of hard work, pain and laughs. We did great for our first tournament and the amount of practice we had had.. We were pleasantly surprised. I am happy to sport pain and bruising.. everyone needs a good scar story right? Well now begins the homestretch for the semester.. It has been a rough one (note I cannot breathe at the moment because our teeny dog flatulated and I swear she is rotting from the inside out.) but Im hoping to pull through.

I need to go crash before I pass out.. I am so sore and Im loving it. Despite the fact that I waddle like a pregnant lady due to the soreness. Girls we ruled out there!

Lots of love out there for everyone.. Pray for my sister, she's back in the hospital for steroid treatment this week and it makes me nervous...

We went geocaching for day two in a row.. yesterday was 9 for 9, today 7 for 7 and WE GOT BRAVO!!! Woot! anyways its very exciting.. now I have to go actually get some studying done.. I forgot about a take home test.. oops

A long week that isnt yet over..

Monday: Painful teeth-> Pain Meds-> Projectile Vomiting

Tuesday: Dizzy, nauseous, but excused from class

Wednesday: Feeling better, studying ALL DAY, Guy chased by police hiding on our front porch til 330 in the morning

Thursday: Class at 8 then all day, Grey's, still tired

Friday: Allergy issues, test retake, lots of homecoming purple, great day at internship, interrupted naptime, fun night at "the Parentals" aka Phil and Jenna's with the SPPh group.

Tomorrow: homecoming galore: parade, ultimate, game, musical, games..

Sunday: death, homework, ultimate/hang with jenna

Another one for the books..

Had a great week/weekend. Felt like junk thursday and graciously skipped classes. Friday internship was a halfday and most of it was spent talking to ed about our NGO and how it is so blessed. He told me a lot of cool thinks about what they are hoping to do in the next few years and it makes me want to stick around to see it happen! I dont know though..

Friday night we had some of megans friends come in town and I had some from town come over. Two words Megans Margaritas. It was a fun night. No damage done. Thanks to ali and haley for the living room dance party. Hats off to Phil for taking my phone away. Word to stan for taking it like a man.. Sorry if I was too mean. Applause to guys who are respectful and sweet.. damn the rest who think they deserve way more than they actually do.

Saturday I had to work at like 9 for an hour. No biggie except that I had only had about 4 hours of sleep.. Brandon and I went geocaching at Will Hair park and were 2 for 3. It was our first successful trip. We're still rookies. But we finally figured out our GPS unit.

Felt like junk for most of saturday.. Sat Night was an amazing steak dinner.. Much love to Meg, Adam and Mckoy for food. Sorry I didnt help but I promise I would have ruined it. Just chilled the rest of the night. Slept in sunday.. Sad.. I wanted to go to church but I wasnt feelin it. Maybe next week.
There is a lot to do this week. I have a test or two.. a rather large amount of homework and lots to do for internship. Fun time is over..

Dad went to china for about 2 weeks Friday. He never called before he left ... Crap.

Another good one...

I am putting off going to class... We're watching Greys Anatomy season two..

This weekend was our first event at Third Rock.. Swing Night.. I was attacked by a really good Swing dancer.. it was a blast.. and I got a tip out of it.. that has to be illegal.. either way it bought me a coke and it was a fun dance!!

Honduras Trip is on its way..

Lectureship is next week which means lots of work at internship in preparation..

and on a smaller note.. we got a new puppy.. YEAAAAH!

A Pretty Darn Good Labor Day Weekend

PS.. I just posted this on Sigma Pi Phi Chronicles website.. oops.. ah well



This weekend was pretty great. Relaxed friday, nothing noteworthy happened.. Saturday I trained cassie on how to open. I didnt do a good job, it was really slow and we just watched movies for awhile.. Oh well.. Ill come in on her shifts and make sure all is well. I fell asleep later that day and woke up to a phone call from Jeremy reminding me to come to austins for a pool party. I was half asleep but woke up around like 730. I decided I needed to be social so I threw on some clothes and headed out to Austins. I wasnt planning on staying long.. I figured it would be like the last time when only a few people showed up. Well there were more people than I expected good food and beverage. It was good to hang out. The highlight of the night was this guy I met. His name was Grant, we ended up talking and hanging out all night. Sadly he's from Tulsa so I dont expect to ever see him again, but its cool. Learned a lot about myself.. im serious.. it sounds corny but Im glad I went. My patience with dating has been revived. So thanks to Grant from Tulsa.. Hope you come hang out again.. if not.. Godspeed and thanks for taking a chance..Sunday was spent sleeping.. Monday was cleaning,homework day because we are having people over tonight.. Now Im off to Starbucks and Fazolis! YUUM!

Cheesesteak

Ultimate tonight was a blast. Really great defense/offense, teams matched up, good sportsmanship. Snagged some good ones, tossed some good ones. The good ones generally outran the bad so it wasnt horrible. I did tend to crap my throws whenever Cody guarded or was near.. he makes me nervous. Injured or not he's good.. amongst other things.
I gained a new nickname..hence the title. It started as philly cheesesteak and morphed.. Im not a big fan but i thought it was funny, cuz one its not very flattering, and two cheesesteaks are gross

Went to church.. we had 11 babies in nursery C, 10 in D and a ton more in the others.. normally its like 4 or 5 babies and one or two workers.. it was nuts.. but a good time. Despite the good times my church shopping begins in august. Shopping isnt the right word.. quest.. venture, looksie.. whatever.

Jenni, Sam and I are officially the only people who are keeping Third Rock running right now.. we realized today that we need to figure out whos doing what since squat was delegated as Rob left for vacation/moving to houston. Oh well I only have a couple more weeks til im free from closing.

My class for summer 2 was cancelled, funny how tempted I was to drop it and decided against it. so Im just teaching and working now. Good news is Ill be able to head to GH in August with brooke.. we were looking up tickets for the weekend of Coast Guard.. I miss home. GH feels like home even if I dont have a house ther, or family. Its my childhood and adolescence in all its pitfalls shortcomings and glorious comebacks.

Not as much crack as I thought..

So the bank stuff worked out.. and God has my back on that. I went to the atm to deposit some checks and cash, and didnt have my atm card.. cuz megan was in the process of being lovely and buying me some Jasons Deli.. yummmmmm.... so I went through the teller thing or whatever and sent the envelope.. I had forgotten to put the cash in the envelope.. umm. thanks for catching my idiocies God.. youre a pal.. I wouldve had to wait like a week before they caught it, told me and then I could go fix it.. that wouldve been bad cuz my rent check should be cashed like TODAY.. and I would be legitimately overdrawn.. sad..But praise be to God I didnt have my atm card and had to talk to real people.. maybe I should just start doing that more often...

On that note.. I really have found myself finding excuses to avoid human contact.. for instance:

ATM, Drive thrus, email vs phone calls, and the like. Part of me blames American culture.. the other part of me knows the truth is my sinful self d0esnt want to have to put up with people. When I say put up with I mean be given the beautiful opportunity of showing stressed out people that God loves them through smiles, courtesy, humor, and joy of life. A fat tip is a big deal in places like restaurants. Even at THird rock I covet the extra change. It means I get to eat lunch every once in awhile. So my point is I think I am going to start parking, walking into restaurants and blinding everyone with the light of Jesus.. bwa ha ha!!! nah but seriously, customers that make it a point to brighten your day do more for the spirit than a check ever could.. So be good patrons! Dont avoid human contact! and Blind the Hell out of people! Literally!

Out on the town.. sort of

Last night I went out with Emerald and Corrie to Guitars and Cadilacs.. it was pretty fun but not what I expected the night to be. I dont really two step, though I learned how to half step.. not that I could do it again. So mostly we just sat and watched for awhile. Until we were approached by a bunch of Marine Corps guys .. they were a group of friends and saw us sitting alone (insert pathetic smile here) and invited us to join them. Well they were all pretty much getting trashed and smoking up a storm, but we hung out with them and it was fun. They were funny and sweet. The girls with them were awesome.. I knew a couple from ACU. After Guitars was closing Corrie and I decided to meet up with them at a friends house.. we hung out until about 3 or so.. It was fun. But I am afraid I left the impression that I was looking for people to party with. Im not. I am not a party girl, never have been. It was fun to hang out last night, but they arent my kind of people. They knew about a couple salsa bars Id like to check out, but you see I just like to dance. That sounds so dumb but its true. When I go out on the floor I dance by myself.. Im not one of those girls looking for someone to "grind on" .. Thats not fun.. its actually kinda gross, and most of the time the guy cant dance worth crap. I will dance with a guy if he actually knows how to dance. Examples: Isaac, Rodrigo, Jeremy, there are a few more but not many. I guess it goes back to my youth group days.. frightening eh? We would always have dance parties at church.. yes.. its true.. and its not like your going to grind on a guy in the fellowship hall of your church, so we just had fun and danced as a group. I miss that. The point of all this was that last night was a successful going out experience. I reminded myself the only reason I like to go out is to dance.. Im not a party girl, I dont hang out well with people that are. One of the guys has my phone number.. that makes me nervous but Ill let him down gently.

Well.. the house is in shape again. AC, hot water, electricity, crazy roommates. We can clean clothes, do dishes.. its great!

I have strep.. again. I dont know why this happens so much but it does. Anyways.. i got antibiotics yesterday and Im feeling better already. I taught class today but I wont be workign til friday because I am still too contageous to work with food. I was sad to miss my day to meet with Cat at Healing hands.. or excuse me their new name is Global Samaritan Resources.. but hopefully next week or later this week. He's got some good projects lined up for me next week.

I had a tennis written and skills test today. I sucked it up. I dont know how I am going to do in that class. Its hard! I shouldve taken it pass/fail.. but I forgot. Oh well.

Mom needs prayer. She's having issues with her medicaid stuff. she may not get money for her meds.. which IS REALLY REALLY BAD..s o please be praying for her..

I am reading a book called A Love Worth Giving by Max Lucado. It is really good. Last nights chapter was on Love being shown through kindness. Yesterday's was Patience. I really need to be hearing these things right now. Patience has been very hard for me in the love department. Especially with friends, roommates etc. In the romance department too. Im so impatient. Im trhying to work on it though..

Our house is still a sauna.. hotter than hades. Oh well... I can live with it.. it just doesnt give me much incentive to clean.. which is what needs to happen soon..

I decided I am giong to accept Robs latest job offering. He is going to pay me to do the scheduling, hiring and training at third rock. It shouldnt be too demanding and he is making it worth my while. Its weird having him work so hard to keep me around. It feels good but makes me nervous. I feel like a commodity.. and i dontknow if its good or bad.

I think ive decided to stop working at highlan and start looking for a church in the area that fits me better. I started going to highlan and working there when stephen and I were dating. I was trying to become more comfortable with the denomination and get to know it a little. That and a lot of the acu students go there.

Now that I have met soem of the hardin simmons students, im starting to itch to get back to going to church regularly, and one that inspires me and really ignites my faith. I like COC for its tradition, but my faith doesnt click with it enough to become a member. It makes me frustrated because it actually becomes a filter for people i date or dont date. If they are serious about staying COC i really have to think hard about whether or not its worth it. I know that sounds dumb, but I just dont relate to that perspective towards faith. Not that its wrong, its just not the person God has called ME to be.

I have really been working hard on trying to figure that out lately. In the past few weeks I am seeing that God has really big plans for me, and that he has been calling me to them for years. He has known my path and where I should be working towards. I have been ignoring that call for about 3 years now. Not that going to ACU was a mistake, it wasnt. However, I began to slip into the casual christian atmosphere and focused on school, then work, and through it all boys.

My focus is regaining. I am still interested in school, work and yes, those monsters called boys, however they are starting to be filtered through God first. He should be at the center and the rest will come together. Anyway thats what Im dealing with right now. Its rough but it is soooo much better than my sorry existence without my loving creator.

Lazy..

Today was a slackers day..

I let my students out early from class today. Like we literally spied out the door til the professors left for lunch so they could go. I just had no incentive to pretend to teach them a thing. I like teaching. Its fun watching the students become excited about spanish, about something new and difficult. The majority of the students are a blast. They laugh at me and even sometimes my jokes, i can be real with them, but still kick their butts if they talk when im talking. Its been neat. I like leadership roles although I dont think teaching could ever be my full time job. Im just not THAT passionate about it. Teaching knowledge is difficult for me to do because I know how little I have learned from a lot of my classes. Teaching passion through experience is my thing. I want to bring the students into experiences that change their world enough that they want to be a part of something new and radical. Inspiring world changers is my niche in life. Everytime I get into leadership positions the same thing happens. I make connections, use my authority to gain respect not just obedience, and use it to get people excited to do their jobs well for themselves. That is work ethic, that is passion for the job, and I believe that is how God calls us to love others. Encouragement, passion, love, respect, joy in life. Everything comes back to the dream.. what a big dream. And everyday it becomes farther away, and closer too.
I cant believe this time next year Ill be a real person. Graduated, on my way to find a job wherever God takes me. I have finally trusted it to him. I have quit my job, quit trying to control my life, and given it over again.. every day I have to do it. but it happens. I love God, he has given me more life than I ever couldve asked for. He wisked me up out of some horrible situations and placed me on a rock! Set my feet upon a rock and now I KNOW HIM! God is soo good. I lost him for awhile there. Somewhere in the midst of wanting to marry stephen because he is such a good guy, and realizing that God has even bigger plans for my life I found him again. It had something to do with the faces of those beautiful children in Juarez. Of finding that comfort and strength in him against all odds, and despite my horrible disobedience.
God, I want to do your ministry, I want to instill your passion and worship you with my WHOLE life. Not just my weekends, or my hours volunteering, or my leadership. With my mornings, with my naps, with my preparation for teaching, with my tattoo(s) with my love for my roommates, dog, family, and new friends.

I wish i could play guitar. This is the time to write a song.. a psalm, a cry out to the lord!!!

My sister is buying a bible. It makes me want to cry to think about it. i have prayed for my family since the moment I met Jesus on that horrible and wonderful day back in middle school. 10 years of prayer, my sisters daughter wants to go to church because she found a rosary at her grandmas house and started asking about it. Amazing. My sister has been asking about Jesus for the past couple years, i think she is horrified and curious about my life choice to be a Christian and go to a Christian school. To not get drunk, or have sex. Those are the things she sees first .. but she also sees I am happy, and that my life would have dictated otherwise has something else not intervened to give me the strength I needed. I have made so many mistakes in my life, but despite my winters with God, he has always lured me back, because I am his child.

Mom is sick again, and it worries me. Mom you worry me. Dont feel guilty about it, I just love you so much and hate being away from you. I wish you would call me and talk to me when you arent feeling well. You dont have to say anything, I just want to feel like Im near you. I miss you all the time. I miss all my family. It was good to talk to my brother the other day. Andy you are a piece of work. I am crying in my pride for you and your accomplishments. I wish I couldve gone to your graduation. I am soo happy for you.

Ultimate! Snap...

Ok.. so it was an overall good weekend. actually it was one of the better in the past few weeks. Sunday night I went to meet up with people at HSU again to play ultimate. It was exciting to see I was remembered.. and apparently talked about.. which freaked me out only slightly. We played on a new field. I pulled my Quad.. it felt like someone stabbed me and twisted the knife everytime I moved my leg. I tried to play on it then went to sit down for awhile. I got a thigh massage (sounds scandalous but it wasnt) it was like acupressure.. thought of you mom.. by this guy on the team.. he apparently does that often.. the acupressure not the massaging of girls thighs.. It helped some and I went out to play again later. Despite the intense pain I snagged a few good ones (immediately following I fell to my knees when my legs gave out), I blocked a few really good ones.. (sorry cody, but I had to take advantage of your cripplosity as well.. besides you blocked some of mine too.. punk.. im not bitter) overall it was good. and lucky for me we are working on serves in tennis so it didnt stop me from playing this morning.. too bad.

ok.. im done. life is good again. God is good

I QUIT!

I put in my notice at work this morning. I am going to work through july, but as of August first I am a customer and no longer an employee. It feels good. Rob had offered me the position of running the store with profit percent incentives. Not worth. I am so stressed out from life, classes, teaching and my future that I just cant deal with it .. I am in a funk, and a big part of that is the fact that I am overextending myself. The usual cause. So.. the summer will end and I will be in a new phase once again, back to mooching from my dad, loafing around and trying to get some good volunteering in. I am at work right now. and I have no desire to work, clean or do anything. This place has stripped me of my soul and all that that entails. I spent last night sobbing myself to sleep because all was wrong with the world. I need a change. So I called rob this morning before lab and told him. I feel better but it doesnt change the sinking feeling I have hat more changes will need to be made to make it better. only God can do that. so anyways.. thats where I am..

I played ultimate frisbee last sunday with a group of people from hardin simmons. it was a friend of a friend connection and I am hoping to play with them more often. There were a couple of really talented players but really it was just good competitive but polite play. it felt good to get out there again.. it felt even better to be meeting people from HSU.. a new crowd, a different breed. Refreshing..

So we are all moved in. The house is painted and beautiful. Summer classes start next week. Work is frustrating but going good still. I just got back from Moms for the weekend with brooke. She is looking good, and her classes are putting a smile on her face. Talked to Amber for a long time yesterday. It is so good to hear from her. Jesse wants to find a church.. how funny. God is good, faithful and sometimes the trickiest dude I know. My sister and I have been getting into some great conversations and God is putting some good people in her life..

Dad is moving to Newton Kansas. I dont know how I feel about this. I will only have one family member in Michigan. Well immediate family anyway. I dont know what to think about that. Hmmm... I am hoping to go to michigan at the end of the summer for a vacation of sorts. Hit the beach, see friends. Not sure where we will stay. Brian has offered. Lydia, Shyle, or many others are options. We'll see how it goes. Who knows.

Brian had a race in New Jersey last weekend. Bashed his face in pretty good. He is absolutely insane. But I expect nothing less from him.

Lessons in leadership.. the hard way.

Ok.. heres the deal. I love Third Rock. I hate the politics of working in an independent store. Never again will I do it unless I own it myself. Cuz really.. this place I tell you what. I understand what it means to be a manager, and I know what managers in my life instilled in me a desire to work hard and which ones made me want to be lazy. To me a manager needs to be able to treat you like a human and have enough repoire built that they can tell you to get stuff done and let you know when you arent working hard enough without being horrible and mean. I work hard for people that make me feel like Im doing a good job when I work hard. People that tell me Im never doing it good enough make me want to slack off cuz theres no way to reach their desired potential and their being bastards about it. I dont know.. maybe it sounds like I prefer buddy buddy to management stuff. Its not necesarily that.. I just dont think I have to be frowning all the time to get the job done. My staff that works with me three times a week is great, they work hard, listen, and do what I ask. I dont give them grief all the time, but I do tell them when they aren't up to par so they can prove me wrong. Work ethic isnt about pleasing all the bosses, it is about getting the job done the right way, the first time, efficiently, ethically and with a smile on your face. You need to own it. At sixteen I had a work ethic better than most college kids I know now. Thats because my mom showed me you can be proud of how fast and well you do your job.. even washing dishes. I worked in a cafe where we had a lot of dishes all the time.. everyone hated doing dishes.. I loved it. Its concrete work you can do with a smile, efficiently and it makes a big difference in the night. So I did it, every shift as well as I could on top of all the other tasks. It bred in me a pride in my work. In our Chamber choir excellence was the goal of everything. No matter how well we did, we could always do better. But the work it took to get there was the point of it all. And the end result was some amazing concerts, where we could see a huge improvement, were proud of the result and wowed the audience that a highschool choir could sound so professional. Thats where its at. Pride in your work for the sake of the better of all. Not to say Im a good worker, but to say my work makes a difference. Washing dishes makes the night a little less stressful.

Relax. Take pride in your work. Smile and enjoy life. Thats what leadership is about.

wow

Today was tiring.. read brookes blog www.brookeerin.blogspot.com to find out why.. oh and the sunburn applies to me.. only I wore a wifebeater so it is a rediculously strange looking burnt to a crisp...

goiing to mommas next week .. pumped I am PUMPED.. i mean that.. im excited to see my momma.. Im not excited about scrubbing down my cat urine infested apartment that I havent lived in for almost a month and drugging my cats into sitting in my 'trunk'(hatchback so its not as cruel as it sounds) for 14 hours.. luckily i wont have to drug brooke.. she's coming willingly.. she is looking forward to a few days in the country... hahah.. sounds relaxing.. I need it..

Weekend in GH

Wow, I just got back yesterday from GH, Michigan. What a blast it was! So much fun. It had lots of wedding stuff, a couple margaritas, and some good bud time. And a quazi date.. hahah.. Does it count? Who knows.. am I happy about it?.. yes. It was so good to see everyone again. Shyle is MARRIED! Lyds boytoy is awesome, and it was great to hang with Jenni, Kyle, Alex, Mitch, Lyd, Shy, Nate, Drew, Seth, Katie, etc. Oh yah and Zajac. What a sweetheart. A couple really interesting conversations went down. We are gonna keep in touch better this time. God has such strange timing.

Finals are this week, I had two papers due today.. Im tired. But work tonight was good. I talked to rob about changing my schedule next semester so I dont have to close as much. It stresses me out to much. I think im gonna do a couple morning shifts a week. That I can handle.

I need to get some work done before i go to bed. Im going to convince myself Im not waiting up by the phone. Im not.

Horrible title.

Man this week has been crazy but beautiful .. I had monday and tonigh.. wednesday off... I am swithcing with Ashby on fri/sat so that she can go home for easter and I can have a friday night off.. which means I havent worked since friday and I wont work again til Saturday... WOOT.. So I am enjoying life as a free girl for the week.. catching up on projects and watching a lot of Crossing Jordan and CSI Miami my two favorite crime shows.. yes. .true fact I like watching dead bodies be disected and murders be solved... anyways.

My plane tickets were bought for going home for the wedding and I realized that that is like 3 weeks from now.. craziness

We close on our new house next week friday... WOOT

We have a puppy named Jack. Jackie boy!! Can I call him Cowboy? True.

whoosh.. yah that was time..

Ok so it has been quite a while. I apologize it has been a crazy couple of weeks. Spring break was amazing and wonderful. We went to San Diego, stayed in La Jolla, went to LA for the day, saw pepperdines version of what might be akin to SingSong only very much different, and then headed back. I had a lot of coffee.. I tried different cafes under the cover of research and only like about 2 of my ten mochas. Im picky now.. thats all. I found some amazing gifts for my mom and sister which i dare not divulge in case they see this before they recieve their gifts.

I am moving in with Brooke and Megan for this next year. I am pumped. We have a house on E.N. 13th that has some of the most hideous wallpaper.. which will be remedied promptly. It closes on the 21st but Imnot moving in til May cuz I want to wait until after finals and such.

I am still planning on going home to michigan for shyles wedding before finals. man it is going to be nuts. the things you do for quazi family. hahahah

My brother apparently is doing amazing. He and his girlfriend are moving in together and marriage is in the future. I am SOO happy for him, he is an amazing man and I hope that she is cool.. i havent ever met her ( i dont think) so it is exciting. Honestly I hope they get married and have kids.. cuz I think my brother will be an amazing daddy! He was a great older brother!

Things with work are nuts right now.. but good. In fact I actually have to go there to work a short shift. Then its the Shades Show tonight and the Revolution Party! Woot!