Livin it Sola!

Well I made it back from J town to A town on Tuesday. Stacy and I drove into Abilene from Juarez, got here around five, spent some time with dad and chillaxin around town then eagerly went to bed early. My new apartment is awesome! I love it! And it is amazing being alone! I hope I dont get sick of it! I dont think I will! I have gotten to see brooke, ali, stev and marcus, oh and luke but not really anyone else. Its still kind of early and people are crazy busy.

Our farewell to our community was so hard. I have such amazing relationships with our community in Juarez. The church families, my little KC monsters. It was just an amazing summer with lots of love poured out of all directions. I have been recieving emails from youth all summer, and now from community members!!! I miss Eilleen my favorite enemy! She is like 17 and feisty.. I had such a hard time breaking down her wall but once it crumbled we had so much fun. I miss Rosa, her friendship, our sisterhood and beautiful Anahy. I miss Chito, Chiquis, Reyna, Raquel and Uriel. I miss all of our weekend fun with clubs and soccer games. It is so strange to know the amazing family I have in that city. I hope they come to visit! I hope I can go back soon! Once I get some of these pictures on my computer Ill post them. I dont know when that will be my camera is in the shop again. But hey it has had a rough couple of months ya know?

It is strange to know that I am not going to be living in another country in two weeks. I feel like I should be leaving again. Well tomorrow I am going to missourri but I mean to like you know LIVE. It has been an amazingly challenging 7/8 months.

Spiritually I have really been faced with a lot of challenges. God has been showing me some things.
First is that 4 years ago, one spring break in mexico he ignited a fire in my heart that will never go out. It is a fire for hispanics, spanish, mexico and everything regarding that. God showed me that this passion is a gift and something I need to regard as precious. I see that now. That is obviously something that I need to remember when making decisions and thinking about my future. It is a factor. It is God's will. I don't know what He is going to do with it, but I can't wait to see!

Second I need to find out who I want to be in Christ. Christ is supposed to transform my life into something lovely. I have never given the chance for Him to do that. I need to take time to figure out how my life is integrated into His eternity, not how I integrate or fit Him into my lifestyle.

Third. God is all about relationships. I knew that but this summer made that so clear. This summer I often was running on about 2 hours of sleep because I had been up with community members and then had to keep working the next day. I always wondered when I would be tired. Then it hit me. These relationships are filling me more than actual rest. They are so important that I dont need sleep to ill me all the time. not necessarily that I can abuse my body with the expectation of his continual strength. But that when it comes to building relationships and loving on people, God will always fill you up more than you could ask for.

Four. I know nothing. I am weak. I struggle all the time. I am poor in spirit. and I absolutely do not deserve Gods faithfulness. And yet. He gives it freely. I am still wrestling with what exactly that means. But I do know that it is beautiful.

Five. God is in the midst of it all. He is in my school, my town, he is in Juarez, he is in the clubs, he is in the churches. He was in my Kids Club, and our worksites. Man. He just IS. Thats why he is the I AM. Cuz its true.