Thursday, April 30, 2009

The goodness.

I have been having a great few weeks. I am meeting great people, playing ultimate, being outdoors, enjoying work, playing guitar, studying hard and just overall finding joy in life. It has been a welcome change after the last few months of doubts and stupid choices. Overall I feel good about where I am at, and where I am going.

Played guitar yesterday for a few hours and my fingers hurt.. BUT I made some good progress and feel pretty good about the learning and the playing.

I hope everyone is doing well.. leave me a comment to let me know you are alive.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Training and stuff..

This week has been really good. I've been meeting some new people and connecting to a ministry in the area. More importantly I am starting to understand my calling. I have been getting pretty fired up about designing some equipping trainings for some ministries in the area. I guess I just have always felt like my niche in faith is inspiring and equipping others to do outreach and serve. Not that I can't do those things as well.. but now that I have the skills to develop training design and whatnot, I keep getting all these ideas and its very exciting. More and more I realize that my path is set and straight I just have to keep one foot in front of the other.. So thats what I'm gonna do

Update on school:
RPQs 1 and 2 are written and submitted
RPQ 3 is all but finished
RPQ 4 is a question mark
Training is going to be on May 16th
and my thesis is sort of a reflection based on how the training goes..

I petitioned to graduate in August. Lets see if it happens

Sunday, April 12, 2009


Went out with the roommates last night after a day of "studying" and relaxing. This morning I was going to go play frisbee but noone showed so I went to see Fast and Furious for my Easter celebrating. Nothing but law breaking and Vin Diesel to celebrate resurrection sunday... Now I am working vigorously on my paper and watching GG in the background. I woke up to fruit and yogurt, water and a jog. I feel pretty good today. Now I'm starving. :) I'll grab something to snack on. Target brand yogurt is phenomenal in case you were wondering. I highly recommend pomegranite cherry. Yum.


Thursday, April 09, 2009

Freaking out.

I am stressed out. I am freakingout that it is nearly easter, I have tooons of work to do and I am struggling with focus. I have a cold sore again.. and I have reasoned that it is recurring because I botched my latest good work on changing my diet. I spent a good month recalibrating my system to eat well, be active and drink loots of water. Then I stressed out, and started back on my sugar diet it. Now I feel like crap, i'm exhausted with no focus and this blasted cold sore stops me from eating anything worthwhile anyway. arg. On top of that I am feeling uber irrational. I flip flop between sending emails of my verbal emotional vomit to different people in my life I convince myself need to know exactly how I feel or how their every word makes me feel.. getting my tongue pierced again.. ditching work to go to Abilene... and sitting on my butt eating brownies and watching heroes til my eyes bleed because I have no clue where to go to finish my paper. I feel so confused and lost in all of this crap that I don't know what to do other than just make a drastic change. So I'm going to try. Starting tomorrow I am going to attempt to do as many of the things on my list below:

Drink two liters of water
Go running.
Go to Corner Bakery and write.
Go to First Baptist to try and get my insurance money.
Eat 2 pieces of fruit and one vegetable whole and fresh.
Not sleep til noon.
Lay out in the sun for 30 minutes.
Play guitar for 30 min.
Read my daily devotion.
Not have soda.
Call my mom or sister.
Go to bed by midnight, sleep no more than 8 hours.
Not spend a dime.

Sunday, April 05, 2009


This was a good week for me.

I finished all my stuff for my training and wrote a good chunk of my second paper.. So thats good.
Work was good this week and then last night I went out with a couple friends from work. It was pretty hilarious. Its possible I almost had a girl beat me up.. but luckily some shmuck felt all protective. Pretty soap opera.. It was nice to let loose and dance a bit, laugh and hang out with the girls. I missed laughing. Sadly I have the most fun at work these days.

I might end up applying at a new roller rink opening up in town. I wouldn't mind a few extra bucks a month to help out. I make just enough to cover rent, credit card, and food but gas is stretching everything a bit thin. That and my unruly splurging on things like the purple jeans I bought for 12 dollars yesterday. Sure its only twelve bucks and they are hilariously phenomenal, but still its not good for the budget.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

New Again.

Well.. haha. I don't know where to start on recapping so I won't. I'll just give the gist of where I'm at now.

I am single and feeling pretty good about that right now. Made an incredibly difficult decision with the help of family and friends to end a relationship that was becoming unhealthy and difficult. God was not as center as he needed to be and it affected ever aspect of the relationship. So I am feeling good about that decision despite the difficulty.

I am living in El Paso, Texas. The focus is on finishing my school and it is super frustrating right now. I have 4 papers, a thesis and a training to finish by August and I just don't know if I see that happening. I am already pushing my graduation back to August and if I can't really get some work done by the end of April I'll need to push it again. The most frustrating part is feeling lost in deadlines. There are no concrete deadlines just assumed schedules of when papers might be turned in so it is hard to really get to work and feel like it HAS to be done. My training is scheduled for May 9, and I think I just finished revisions to my first paper. I am about 1/3 done with my second paper. I feel better this week now that I know that I can't slack off anymore. I think my big issue is my study habits. I have a hard time studying at home. I usually need to seriously stay somewhere for 4-8 hours, best place being a library but the only one I like around here is UTEP for its books and they don't let me use their internet because I am not a student. I usually end up at Kinleys, but on my days off its a pretty big waste of gas.

Outside of school, work is going well. For those who don't know I am working at Bed Bath and Beyond. I just got trained as a Front End Supervisor which is pretty sweet. That just means I work at the Customer Service desk and supervise the other cashiers and such, help with training, and do important things like approve refunds and discounts. SCARY!! We still haven't found out if we get a raise or not but I'll find out on my next check I guess. Whether we do or not, I'll still get good hours since there are only four of us.

Other than that, things are going well with family I guess. I miss my sister and her family a lot. Every once and a while I think about living out there for a few years. I don't really like that area, but I miss being near family and stuff. For now the plans are to look for a job in Dallas. I know I know. I never planned on living in Texas, but right now they have a pretty good job market.. you know.. being their own country and all. Plus I really wouldn't mind being near Brooke and her family. They've always sort of been my surrogate family :) It would be better than starting new.. again. I am hating El Paso right now because I know a total of 12 people, 3 of which were my fellow interns. The other 9 I work with and see plenty during the week. Outside of that all my friends are in Juarez, and I really don't cross over much.. it is pretty expensive.

Well thats the drill so far I am off to work on some training stuff this afternoon.

My goal: Finish training paperwork English and Spanish.
Tomorrow: Try to outline and have a rough draft of my second paper RPQ2.