Thursday, July 19, 2007

Last blog til August.

I leave for Colorado tomorrow evening.. so Im assuming this will be my last post till I get back on the thirtieth.. or like aug 1 at 1am again. So peace out July!

Talked to the "guys" at work today for awhile about school stuff again. They know some pretty awesome connections around the area. A couple mags to look into, and organizations doing some good work. I also talked to a guy who is about to leave to go live in Mexico City for 2 months. He'll come back after Ive gone, but Im super jealous. I love Mexico City.. Id love to see it. Im still not talking to Nasser.. he still makes me nervous, but I feel I may need to start talking to him again to at the least keep my spanish in practice. hahah.. sad using of friends eh?

Tomorrow at work I get to do Prep stuff for the HP Party again. I get to cook up a Vat full of Frap Mix. I said Im going to pretend its my witchs brew and sing double double toil and trouble or whatever that song his... cackle cackle. How fun!

PS. I pray tomorrow will not be awkward. ehem.

Also. Kathryn you are one of most favorite people. I feel like I will forever treasure our friendship no matter how long it takes for me to see you again. Your air, attitude and view of life is so refreshing and incredible. You love on anything and anyone no matter who they are. I love that about you. Keep being you, and get your ass to africa.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007


It is nine thirty. It is Tuesday. It is past halfway through July. This summer WHIZZED by.

So.. soon Ill be packing up and heading off to graduate school in Vermont. Conversations with the guy at work yesterday got me thinking. I am excited to be out on my own once again. I love new experiences as much as I love cozy old ones. Getting to meet a thousand new faces, forgetting all their names two seconds after, and then seeing which people change me and stick into my life. I wonder if Ill meet another Shyle or Brooke. Will I meet people like Ed who change my perspective on career? or people like Russ who try hard to make me a better person despite their own flaws? How about people like my sister who make me excited to be a parent someday because it will be a great challenge? I am excited to meet the Phils, and Nates, the Brandons, and Megans too. It is just interesting to reflect and see the array of people who have whipped me into the person I am. I was reading a book the other day, a guilty pleasure Ive read eighty thousand times. She has a character whose accent takes in a little bit from each person she meets. I feel like that too. Not just in my accent. I feel like I take on qualities, good and bad, from the people I meet. I hope that that is not a flaw.. like " I dont know who I am so I just steal stuff from others". I know who I am, and who I strive to be.
I guess I just like to truly see people and what they are about, when Im allowed that far in I tend to leave a piece of me with them, and take a little bit too. I think that is a good definition for what true relationship is. The give and take. Ive had this conversation with Phil before, he was so impressive in his quest for better friendships, deeper roots etc. I think Ive blogged on it before but it relates... Phil was saying he felt like a majority of his friendships were skin deep. Not that he or they were shallow, but that somehow he had never managed to really dig in and find a best friend or companion (I told him I considered him a best friend, because he invests in my life, listens and is always there for me..). We talked about it and realized that he rarely gave of his own story or his own life. Rather he let others tell their stories (like me who can always fill a silence with worthless blabber) and felt that that was his way to give in the relationship. He didn't like to tell his story because it felt like he was "taking" from people and forcing them to hear it. For me.. that was opposite. I think of give and take in a vice versa kind of way. Giving of your story and allowing the other person to take.. or partake of your life. Allowing them to invest in your life and story. If they never know anything about you, they can't invest. Right? The point being that in a relationship.. even though sometimes you feel like you are taking all the time.. you are allowing others to invest in you by letting them "give". I think thats an important thing. Yes we need to give as well by listening, and investing ourselves in the other person.. but it has to be an equal or near equal exchange. Phew.. I dont know if that made sense.. but there is a point..

I am excited to meet new people and begin investing anew. I love hearing peoples stories for the first time. Family, fun stories, hard times, faith stories, travel, hobbies, love triangles, whatever. You can really see the heart of people by hearing their stories.. and how they tell them. Were they ok with the death of their mother, did they actually enjoy punching that girl deep down, did God truly transform their lives, did that experience in South America change their idea of America... YOu know the GOOD stuff.

Well Ill get a nice fat chance to hear some amazing stories in the fall... especially at a school where a lot of the students are either international or travellers.. Steve you would probably get a kick out of visiting just to meet some of the people.. its gonna be fun!

God has been doing some strange things in me these past few months. I have had a lot of faith ups and downs.. Im not complaining. I like knowing God is making me a better person. Trials are just another part of that. I need to get back into my readings, and back on track a little. I was doing well for awhile and I can notice the difference in my attitude.. Im tired again. boo.

well I work most of the day today, but Ill post some work stories if anything happens.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007


So long day at work. 9-5. boo. It was pretty slow and I worked with kate who was eating the whole time. Shes got balls... I dont know how she has kept her job. Neither of us were feeling that great but the day went by eventually. I work again tomorrow 12-8.

Break was unusually entertaining.. read some economist then started talking to some of the regulars.. older guys in their forties who spend their days off relaxing at good ol b and n. They always have good stories and like to hear about my adventures. We were discussing latest travels, and some things to do in vermont. The rest of the day ended with me spilling drinks all over. yay.

now i have some burritos and napping to do.

Ps. it was good to update you brooke. I miss my girl chatter.. ill let you know how things progress!

I leave on Friday. wow. The plan is Tim picks me up at the airport. I am nervous about this.. It could be incredibly awkward. like HARD CORE awkward.. or it could be totally chill. I still dont know about the 30th yet. As of now I plan on him driving me to detroit.. I may get to see my bro but if not I may cruise to detroit early and hang with the pops in Ann Arbor. Who knows.. my life is not my own when I dont have a car. Boo.

Monday, July 16, 2007

the marathon of work begins to work tomorrow. Good times. its only 9-5 tomorrow.. atleast I dont open.. i just come in and work.. thats nice.. i think i open thurs/fri though. I kinda like opening cuz you have the cafe to yourself for the full hour and you feel like you accomplished something when you open.. like you could say Ta da! to the first customer.

Tonight my dinner is consisting of Doritos and 7up. I got kfc for lunch excited to get one of those mashed potato and chicken bowls.. THEY FORGOT THE CHICKEN.. i was so sad. it was a very mushy lunch.

Im jamming out to Tyrone Wells.. I missed him.. he wasnt working on my ipod for a while

Verbosely speechless..

Incredible weekend. The wedding was awesome, reception a blast, and night out with friends was a lot of fun. I was thrilled to see Steve as much as I did, and meet his friend Josh who was awesome.. I hope Canada's treating him well

Thoughts and memories:
I miss the beach a lot, and just walking with people around town here and from wherever. I love that. Summers in Michigan are beautiful, and I need to partake of them more often.

I don't know if Ill ever find community like that anywhere. I hope I do. I guess its because that's the place I really lived and dug in. Its amazing being able to go back four years later like no time had passed. Seeing everyone and just relaxing in life. I know if I ever need anything I can go back to find a net of community there forever. What a blessing.

It does make me think that I want one, if not two things: to find a place to call home base for a good while.. Not necessarily settle in somewhere for good.. i need my travel, but a place to call home, to come back to. I want a house somewhere near all this community and family i hold so dear. I hope my job next year brings me somewhere I can find that home/house..
If I cant find a home base I want a home somebody.. this is more difficult! It would be nice to have someone to travel with. I guess part of me is ready to find someone for good.. I know that I am not ready to be married this very second, but i think pretty soon Ill be ready to do that. I'm excited to have someONE to share life with. At this point my memories are scattered throughout the multitudes of people I have known, which is fine, but it would be nice to begin an adventure with one person and have lots of memories with them. I know weddings tend to bring out that "single for life" fear in me, but I finally feel like I am who I want to be, and I wont change that for anyone. I know I won't settle for a happy on the outside relationship. and I am glad to finally realize I had done that before.

The other thought and realization this week is that I am so happy I live my life. Like LIVE it really. I don't do as much as I wish I did, but I don't feel like I waste my days away, or cop out of life out of fear. I am also happy that I am wired to serve.. I cant imagine living a life that doesn't change lives, change the world in some way. It is so important to me that my life make an impact, and it doesn't have to make a big one. In fact I would be content at knowing that I made a kid smile this year. But I know I have a lot more to give and that the life that I do live, will be focused on giving out and not giving in. On another level I realized that the dream of a perfect home, family, house, job blahbity blah is so much different for me than many of my friends. Like I said I want to Live life.. and that includes struggling, fights, passion, hardship, sacrifice, dirt, blood whatever. I have so much respect for my friends and the lives they have put together.. Shyle and Nate are a prime example. They live a life of service. Their house is open all the time for anyone to come and use as a refuge. I am so grateful for their friendship and example of love. I liked seeing a billion people just relaxed and hanging out at their house like it was the most obvious thing to do. Anyone and everyone are welcome, all ages and types. it was great. Id like to have that... I will.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Grand Haven.. not so much home anymore.

Last night was a blast, despite infringing upon Steve more than intended. Flights went well minus sweaty man and crying baby. Steve picked me up at the airport and we hung out at his house for a while til his friend Josh arrived. I was planning on seeing everyone at butchs..youth group kids.. but I hadnt really heard from anyone and by the time the cincinnati kids were back it was closed anyway. So then the plan was to go to see harry potter with bethany etc.. BUT josh steve and i got distracted by the beach, pier, sunset etc. Ended up at K2 for some good pizza, crazy nostalgia and a jack and coke I have longed for for quite some time.. It was a lot of fun and I ended up just coming back to shyles after. Now its saturday, rainy and the wedding is in a few hours. I saw lyd at the salon she's looking cheery and gorgeous. after some great harvest and chatting Im back at shyles. I may snooze cuz man yesterday took it out of me and I want to have a really good night.

So far the plan is to hit the wedding with Nate in tow, since wifey's in the wedding.. then to the reception with whoever will give me a ride :) Im sitting by abby+date so that will be fun. After that Im hoping alex, kyle, megan and whoever else is up for some fun will go out. Steve and Josh may end up coming out to GH again, but who knows. Its possible we head to GR somewhere but I doubt that.. everyone will be too "fun" for driving is my guess..

Tomorrow church at the waterfront, and possibly a bbq at shyles.. then hanging out and off to PA in the eve.. wow

PS. I miss grand haven but it doesnt feel like home anymore which makes me sad a little. Thats ok Ive always just sort of felt at home whereever I am. Its just weird that GH doesnt have that pull anymore. More of a getaway than a go back to ya know? I did love the pier last night. It was fun to chill with Josh and Steve.. Steves a gentleman through and through whether he likes it or not. Ill miss the kid.

Friday, July 13, 2007

made it to Michigan fine and dandy..

so things didnt work out as planned for friday night cuz I never really heard back from people who COULD hang out.. just people who couldnt.. so Ill see you guys around this weekend.. call me 682 365 6897 or see you at church on sunday

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Every time I open my blog it makes me happy to see puppy.... Today went by quick. Started getting packed for the Michigan trip and the Colorado trip. Had some Mojito with the sis after we are watching "So you think you can dance" with vigor.

Im SOOOOO excited to leave the day after tomorrow.!

My chacos get here tomorrow.. so does my paycheck

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

work, guitar, and sweet capn crunch lovin..

Work 8-4 was CRAZY busy.. but lots of fun.

Im ready for some Grand Haven.. I am pumped to see the Mexico kids, Shy, Lyd, Russ, Steve, Katy and more and more and more..

Played some Geetar. I plan to play again tonight.. yeah.

I miss brooke.

I want a great dane BADLY.

I mean they start so tiny and end up so freaking amazing. The sweetest doggies.. Huge but so sweet..

Its happenin..

Monday, July 09, 2007

Im so bored. I just got done playing guitar.. my fingers hurt. Family Guy is on.. this show is so funny.
so far its working. I assumed transformers would be corny... it rocked my face off.. I was pleasantly surprised by a few texts I received today..and all things work are turning out well..

I leave for GH in four days. I should think about packing. Maybe. I was going to try and just bring a carryon, but my shoes might take up half the bag... hahaha.. I am posting a picture of the fishies soon.. funnies thing Ive seen in a while .. its like a soap opera under water. We have two fighter fish ... "The Convict" and "The Oscar"... they both love me.. just not each other..

Jess and Albert are doing chores to earn money so they can get a job. Its funny how hard they are trying.. I wonder how long it will last..

Is it sad I am excited for the Veggietales movie coming out in January?

and lastly.. SIT screwed up again and they lost my Perkins MPN. BOOOOOOOOO..

On a lighter note.. Daniel is heavy on my heart today.. I hope he's doing better..

Sunday, July 08, 2007

I need to be a pessimist. Im going to try that. Assume EVERYTHING will go wrong and be ecstatic when it goes well.

Sample? Sample? Sample? Sample?

I just handed out samples for 18 hours.. meaning 5 hours.. worst boring work ever. I cant stand baby cups and straws. There's something sinister about them.. like they think they are so damn cute but they're free so they're like whoring out the chocolatey goodness.. maybe im just tired and cranky. Most likely...

my tongue hurts a bit today. not sure why.

two more shifts.. then GH.. i am super pumped. Looks like the Mexico kids are meeting me at Butchs on Friday evening... then wedding stuff on Saturday.. however that turns out. Its a good thing I dont NEED concrete plan s.. cuz i got none. Other than me going to a wedding somehow.. with someone.. at some point.

my room needs some serious cleanage.. yipe. i have 8 non travelling days left in july..

The Well was good this morning.. it was good to see everyone.. I a saw a few people at BN later in the day..

i think maybe its time for some nappy....

Friday, July 06, 2007

My plane tix are in..

Ill be in GR airport at like 445pm ish Friday the 13th.. scary..
then leaveing around 7 on the 15th..

now to find rides to the airport.. any takers? haha..

Thursday, July 05, 2007


Work was crazy today. I opened alone for the first time yet... it went well.. it was super busy all afternoon though.. I finally put the much awaited piercing video on facebook.. I had a few people who wanted to see it.. so there it is.. I dont want it up here.. a little too public.. not like very many people check it.. but still..

I found a dress for the wedding.. I am pumped.. it is my goal to show up the bride.. hahaha.. jk. but my sis had a dress that is amazing so Im stealing it.. I love being the same size! too bad I cant steal her shoes too! I got someone to cover my shift for the wedding ... WOOT.. dad is supposedly getting tix.

ugh im tired.. and I dont know who asked about tim.. but im not going to spill the beans til I get to actually talk to him.. I got some "intel" and it made the situation clearer a bit.. I totally get why he hasn't called but the fact is he sorta pansied out.. so until I have a real conversation with him and get things straightened out.. deal with some vague deets..


Well I work in half an hour but i had to post.... my night turned out better towards the end.. I assume the tequila residue of the night before was working its depressive manner yesterday.. i ALWAYS forget I react like that.. maybe Ill remember next time... hahah.. also.. a side note


Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Downhill day..

Today quickly got worse worse worse.. many thanks to Russ for the informational and much appreciated conversation. It did however put a damper on my fourth of july..

Thus.. mac and cheese, an empty house, and some soul searching to do... I hate when i get myself into these kinda know the heart wrenching ones you cant do anything about...

and it started raining. thank you God for doing the crying for me.... I just cant work it up, and I hate crying over guys.. so... ill let the rain do it.

(ps.. Steve if you read this it isnt about you kid.. I had a great dayish with ya.. Ill see you soon!)

A Day with Blade

Well had a good day or so with Steve. He has reinforced his coolness and I am remembering why I liked the kid in the first place. He's such a nut. We hit up Tyler State Park for some geocaching.. lots of weeds, a cornfield run, and a few scenic detours. Then we REALLY took the scenic route to Outback for dinner. It was good food despite the 5 dollar beers... poor steve.. my margarita was fantastically strong. The day continued with a search for margarita mix and a tobacco shop. We did not prevail on all accounts but margaritas were conquered and downed with much enthusiasm. We had a great time, he left this morning to go hang with another pal that lives in Phillie for the fireworks and stuff tonight. All in all a great time, I hope I get to see him when Im in town for the wedding. Thats assuming tickets are bought and I hear from Tim saying I have a ride from the airport. If I dont hear from him soon I may end up conning steve into doing it. we'll see..

Well I am going to go crash for a few hours. then its the fourth.. woot. ehem. I have work tomorrow at 8.. boo.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

this doesnt deserve a title.

Work pretty much sucked last night. Busy, worked with the slowest person. Rich was cool though, he's a pretty awesome guy. Too bad he was stressed beyond belief, gotta love being management.

Steve is coming in today. on his way. Should be fun, hopefully I can find SOMETHING entertaining to do.. Im such a stranger to the area that I just dont really know where anything fun is. oh well.

Im still trying to get work off for the wedding.. Im pretty sure Ill just call in if I dont find anyone. I just cant imagine missing it.

Monday, July 02, 2007

back from the shore

Well it was a lovely week out at the shore.. boardwalks, beachwalks, rollercoasters, funnel cake, fudge, waterpark, and piercings.. well piercing singular... heheheheh

I worked last night and it was crazy nuts.. some guy came in and asked for 5 rediculously detailed drinks, he read them out confusingly, I got the drinks right, rang it up wrong and ended up getting tips from the next 3 customers for my mistake.. hahahah.. weird I work again tonight.. with Chris. Should be entertaining.

Well.. I have nothing of consequence to say. I havent heard from tim in forever.. he's starting to frustrate me.. Ill continue to give him the benefit of the doubt.. but I hate when people say theyll call and then dont. Id rather they just say hey Im gonna be busy and may not get a chance to call... it hurts less.. I can take it. On the lighter side of things Steve is coming into town tomorrow. I am super pumped to see him. Its not often you meet such cool people, and get to see them more than once. We'll get to independence day party a wee with the fam.