A hard day to be alone

Today was a hard day. I had a bummer of a test this morning. Ithink I did alright but it was really depressing to feel so stressed and unprepared despite the hours of studying I put in.

I also realized that this week is roughly the five year anniversary of the death of Ryan, Adam, David and John. Those of you that dont know they are four friends who died in a car accident my freshman year of highschool. I havent really thought about it in a long time. I havent really had to. Along with that comes every thing else. Dan and Andy who drown freshman year of college, my friend adam who died of cancer, my grandma whom I miss so dearly. It is hard to have them all within the same couple months. It just lumps together and hits so hard sometimes.

I sound like a downer. I am a downer. Oh well.

The past week has been a week of odd emotional rollercoasters. One minute I feel content and confident, the next I am in a sea of confusion and emotional inadequacy. Usually my feet land on the ground but today has been a tough fight for it.

I missed my mom last week. I needed one of her wonderful back massages soooo bad. I hated that I couldnt go home and get one, and then talk for hours. I miss my mom. Dearly.

Take Two

Abilene is taking in evacuees again.

Prayers for the families and the people still stuck in houston and surrounding areas.

More,..

Things just add up so quickly...

So I in October Youthworks is coming to promote the summer employee stuff.. which means I "get to" help with promo stuff for their showcase meeting. Basically just fliers etc. and then going to the meeting and fielding questions.

Im also on the Costume Design team for Ethnos now. The crew is awesome and these designs are kickin! Its gonna be an amazing show! Itll be busy though. They want a photo shoot on Sunday. That seems pretty pronto for putting a whole design together but we'll see how it goes..

I have a test in my Mexico Growth and Culture class on monday. Not excited about that.

Oh yah.. singing went pretty well on Wednesday. I think we sounded pretty good. The perfectionist in me has to say we screwed up pretty bad on our third song.. they also apparently didnt know we were doing a closing song and turned off our mikes.. Oh well. It was a good first performance. We sing for Hispanos Unidos Chapel tomorrow.. hopefully that will go better.

It has been so amazing getting to know all these new people this semester. It is really liberating. I dont think I realized how much I sheltered myself. I think thats what I needed the last few years. But right now I can feel that I am right where God wants me to be. Busy and courageous, initiative and completely humbled...

ESL was fun today.. we dont have class on Friday. That makes me sad. But I also dont have nutrition class so its a free afternoon for me. I think. Oh yah except we have a Majors retreat this weekend. So if I dont answer my phone thats why.

My cats are cute.

Today I was looking through my pics of this summer and miss Juarez SOO much. That was the hardest summer ever, and I dont know if I will ever have the strength to do it again, but man it was amazing!!!

I updated some pics onto my webshots... check em out. Ill put apt. pics up soon too. I promise!

News

Lots of new stuff has come about this week:

I aced my tests in French and Nutrition. That was quite exciting

I am going to be in the Culture Show.. Support Ethnos! Woot Woot! Ill be dancing with the Brazilian group and maybe acting/singing some as well. We'll see.

I am on the Praise team for Hispanos Unidos. Our first performance is wednesday in chapel. Yah thats right. I and my 7 or so teammates will be singing in front of hundreds of people. Im sorry but that is really weird. It has been years since I have sang in public.

We had a tango "workshop" on Friday night in the UP parking lot. It was a blast. Word to Isaac, Maria, courtney, Tisha and Alex who caught on quick! Y'all rock!

This week is the Study Abroad fair... I get to be susie studyabroad again..

ESL has been going great... We learned colors this week. Try explaining the difference between silver and grey, tan and offwhite, chocolate and brown, and why grey isnt light black or dark white.

My apartment finally smells good again. That makes life easy. Im not going to explain why it smelled so bad.

Thank you to Justin something freshman kid who found my cellphone outside of moody and called Ali. If you want her number gimme a hollah... Alibear rocks. Hahah.

I have no food in my house right now. none. literally. Ok well except soup, stale tortilla chips, and potpies.

I am sick of studying already.

Its been awhile

Man it has been awhile since I have posted.

Classes are going pretty well.. it has been a crazy busy couple of weeks. On top of classes I am assistant teaching an ESL conversation class. It is a lot of fun.. I have three students . Alberik from Burundi, Serge from Rwanda and Pascal from the Congo. They are all sweet guys. Their english is pretty low but we are working on it and they have already improved!! It is weird having an actual job. But it feels really good on the same note.

This week has been a week of new things. I have been trying to go out on a limb socially.. you know like I went to a concert friday where I wasnt sure if I knew anybody going. I have been going to Hispanos Unidos chapel.. where I know people but have met many new faces. I went to the first Study Abroad interest meeting this week and yucked it up about Study Abroad with freshmen, alumni, what have you. It has been really cool. I have made some really good friends, and I am excited about it. It is nice to meet people who are excited about the same things.

God has been stretching me these past few weeks. In so many ways. I have been tested a couple of times too. That has been interesting. Some of you know what I am talking about. Some of you dont..

My mom got hurt last week and I didnt know about it. That is a terrifying feeling. I hate living so far away and being out of the loop. It is so hard to know how she is doing. I worry.. a lot.

My dad is in China. I hope he is enjoying it.

I love my apt. I love living alone. It is amazing. It is messy right now and that drives me nuts.