Tuesday, September 27, 2005

A hard day to be alone

Today was a hard day. I had a bummer of a test this morning. Ithink I did alright but it was really depressing to feel so stressed and unprepared despite the hours of studying I put in.

I also realized that this week is roughly the five year anniversary of the death of Ryan, Adam, David and John. Those of you that dont know they are four friends who died in a car accident my freshman year of highschool. I havent really thought about it in a long time. I havent really had to. Along with that comes every thing else. Dan and Andy who drown freshman year of college, my friend adam who died of cancer, my grandma whom I miss so dearly. It is hard to have them all within the same couple months. It just lumps together and hits so hard sometimes.

I sound like a downer. I am a downer. Oh well.

The past week has been a week of odd emotional rollercoasters. One minute I feel content and confident, the next I am in a sea of confusion and emotional inadequacy. Usually my feet land on the ground but today has been a tough fight for it.

I missed my mom last week. I needed one of her wonderful back massages soooo bad. I hated that I couldnt go home and get one, and then talk for hours. I miss my mom. Dearly.

1 comment:

Cr8eHort said...

Hey girl, I totally hear you on missing loved ones, tomorrow makes 2 years to the day that my grandmother passed away, it's been a while but it still hurts. I will be praying for you!! I hope your week gets easier.

oops wait, Cr8ehort..hehehe