Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Hotter than Hades.

So it is January 3 and it is 90 degrees outside. HOLLY CRAPP! yes craziness.

So I havent posted in well.. awhile.. so here I am.

My new years was fantastic. Brooke Jules and I went to IHOP for dinner at about 11pm. Brooke and I made it back to her place by the dropping of the ball and hung out making fun of stupidface Haley Duff while silently enjoying her music and being jealous. The past few days has been full of girl lunches, sleeping through church, Mona Lisa Smile, and Coffee. Yes Coffee.

SO MUCH COFFEE. Actually I havent gotten to the point of consuming it yet. I start that tomorrow. This week I have been putting together my training packet for next week when I Phyllis Chill train the employees on how to operate an espresso machine and create beautiful jitter starters.

Im kind of perplexed by the position I have been put in. One I havent actually made an espresso drink since 2 summers ago. Two I have never really been the one to know the ins and outs of the machine, that was all taken care of by management or corporate. And Three I have never worked at a privately owned cafe. All of this leads me to the conclusion that this is going to be an adventure. I am caught up in a fairly complicated but interesting situation.

The other part that kind of freaks me out is that this is preparing me for my future dream. Yes that dream that I have yet to mention on my blog despite its overtaking of my mind and thought process. This is the dream that has invoked a hope and desire to succeed and depend on God cuz there aint NO way I could ever do it by myself. Lydia, my darling, I hope still aspires to be my partner in this dream although I will be quite understanding if God takes her in another direction. Im stalling. I really am. It is one thing to talk and dream about something. It is quite another to confess it and type it out in front of me. I dont want to jinx it. I really dont.

This is a dream that has only just become something conceivable in my eyes. It has always been in the background as a fallback if I never know what I want to be when I grow up. I have always wanted to make a difference in the world. To build great relationships but most importantly influence people, especially youth and college students, to be world changers themselves. In my eyes there is no better way to change the world than multiply yourself into hundreds of world change focused youth. The church of tomorrow, the church of today. Man.

So my dream. Do I dare confess it? Do I? I fear the rejection of my peers as well as my family. Although I already have so many supporters in my mom, sister and even my aunt who I love dearly for literally giggling and bubbling with excitement when I told her. Much better than the horrible answer and discouragement I got from other parts of my family. Although they really never got to see the vision and Im not sure they would approve of it if they did. Either way. Its my dream.. and its a big one.

Because of this dream I have been thinking about stephen a lot lately. Not because I want to get back together with him, but because we dreamed a lot together. We would spend hours talking things through, ideas, hopes, questions what have you. I miss that. I wish I could sit down with him and talk this through for hours. I dont think thats possible. but maybe. Thank God for Brooke who brings up my dream daily to remind me its possible, and its a great dream.

I dont think I will divulge my dream just yet. Maybe tomorrow. Or next week. Maybe in ten years when it has come true. Until then. Be praying and keep your eye out for it. You'll know it when you see it.. You'll know it when you feel its effects on the worldchangers of today.

God only you have the power and the might to do this. You planted this dream in my head. Give me the vision, drive and confidence to follow through with something for once in my life.


Brooke said...

My darling Phyllis! As one of the priveleged few who knows the desire of your heart you speak of, let me just tell you: it's an awesome dream! Dream it; pursue it; accomplish it! From the beginning of our friendship, I have known that you are a person who dreams big. But you don't stop there. You make things happen. And you will make this happen. It may not end up looking exactly like the picture that's in your head right now, but it will be awesome nonetheless. God has big things planned for you, my friend. I love that I get to share in your excitement. And I love you!!

Julie said...

i love you and your dreams. thanks for your sweet note on the old blog...i am feeling mucho better and in desperate need of more girl time than ever! even though i don't drink coffee, i will definitely come see you at your exciting new job!

Quaid Ledingham said...

Philly, it has been a while. You should be a suspence writer, i am still wondering what your dream is, lol. Well, conisdering you are the type to pull yourself up by your own boot straps, and you put your trust in God, i doubt there is much you can't do. Romanos 8:28 "Ahora bien, sabemos que Dios dispone todas las cosas para el bien de quienes lo aman..." y Proverbios 15:29 "El Senor se mantiene lejos de los impios, pero escucha las oraciones de los justos." Su amigo, qued