Saturday, January 28, 2006

Payday. Good day.

For those confused by the previous post:

A not is something brooke and I came up with last night. Our own category. When people ask me what Im like I never know what to tell them.

Im not a jock but Im athletic.

Im not girlie, but I like to be pretty.

Im not butch but I can wear sweats and short hair.

Im not a nerd, but Im intelligent.

Im not OCD but I like to be clean

Im not a scrub but sometimes I dont take a shower.

Im not a pushover but Im also not a B*tch.

Im not lazy, but I like to relax.

Im not a workaholic but I have a good work ethic.

Im not cocky, but Im confident.

Im not popular but I like who I am.

Im not a musician, but Im musical.

Basically this group is for those of us well rounded folk who arent molding ourselves to one category or another. We decided that although it is ok to be a part of a group such as the above mentioned, some people cop out and pick one because they are too lazy to figure out who they are. So.. Word to all the NOTS out there.. Are you a Not?

Other than that today was pretty crappy.. other than lunch.

I slept through my french class.. yep.. I did. I made it to chapel and was blessed with a lunch with marcus, phil, ahndria, sarah and well.. me. It was tasty and I like them. They are such sweet happy people. I hope to get to know them better..

Then I finally got a hold of my dad after a boring afternoon class. And hell opened. I told him about how I was looking at grad schools and he'd know I was listening to him and putting away some of my pride.. I told him about how Rob basically offered me the future position of running one of his stores, so that he would see that I am enjoying my job and am talented at it.. And what happened? He blew up. He yelled and got pissed, and kept sying all this stuff about how I dont knwo what Im talking about and how I ignore what he says about maybe liking corporate stuff, and not letting me say a word at allllll.. I just stopped listening. I was so pissed.. SO pissed. He has burst my bubble and hurt me too many times. How long will it take for him to realize that although I understand his motives are pure.. or almost pure, it is still my life that I am trying to make something of and I may have to do it MY way.

I cant even explain to you how mad I was.. I got to the point where I almost.. ALMOST screamed F&!K you and hung up. NOT EVEN KIDDING. But I calmed myself atleast til I could get off the phone. He has never brought me to tears before, but this did it. OH this did it.

I am finally to a point in my life where I see a direction I want to go. And although I dont know the next step in the path I can see the general direciton. Its like when you are driving and night in a blizzard and although you cant see ten feet ahead of you you can make out the direction of the lines on the side of the road enough to just keep going. If you were to call someone and say hey what direction do I go.. taht wouldnt help you. Only staring at those lines on the road and being focused on what adventures lay ahead of you will work. Wow.. That just came into my head.. God is good. ANyways..

Work was alright tonight. Not busy. Even though the people I worked with were convinced that was the busiest it had ever been. ahhaha. funny.

Oh last night and this afternoon I had some pretty cool convos with my friend from Mexico City. Man I want to go down there SOO bad. I want to have a vacation so bad. By myself or with a friend. I dont know. I just NEED IT. So I think I am going to save up some of my money from work and fly down to Mexico City this summer for like a week and hang out with my friend. He's a pretty cool guy and I wouldnt feel weird about it. He's a great man of God and is always an encouragement. Plus he said he'd take me on a tour of the pyramids and all the cool museums!

1 comment:

ErinEC said...

Hey Sweetie,

I'm sorry that happened to you. It's hard when you are excited about future ideas and opportunities and someone you care about puts a damper on them. I am very excited for you and pray that God will put you in an amazing place where your wonderful gifts can be used to their fullest.