This has been a crazy week.
Josh and I officially broke up.. or rather I broke up with Josh. No I will not go into details on my blog but there is a wide range of reasons and only some of you know them. I have this fear that I am going to end up the cold heartless bitch in this situation.. if thats the case I can take it, I have thick skin. I know that I surprised him and pretty harshly broke his heart. I feel bad about it. I feel bad for not being more open weeks ago when I was already feeling off about it and too scared to start another "how can we fix this" discussion. Anyway... For those of you who have been so supportive, thank you. For those who think I'm the heartless bitch, thats ok too.. Josh needs support as well.
Where I am at now:
I have been in this wondrous peace. I am focused on what God is calling me to. I am sending resumes and applications to places that might be interested.. I am writing out my proposal for First Pres and starting to find a way to get in touch with the youth who may want to participate in it. I am excited about maybe going to Spain, Mexico and the latest desire is Argentina. I am excited that my world reopened this week and once again the opportunities are limitless as God's imagination.. which is pretty big since he is the creator of the world and all.
Monday is my birthday. It is such great timing. I have always dreaded birthdays because I always get my hopes up for something awesome and though they have been great something weird happens, or I get sick :-p This year I am taking this weekend by storm. I have my whole weekend free and not very much homework. Although monday is my actual birthday I am celebrating early. Monday will be spent in Keene enjoying free coffee and reading for classes that inspire me. So far we are looking at going dancing tonight downtown, Karaoke tomorrow, snowboarding (first time!) saturday morning. We are thinking about going to Amherst saturday night, but I also sort of want to go to this acappella concert downtown.. I haven't heard good vocals in a while. Sunday there is a christian fellowship brunch type thing I am going to with some people at a professors house, and then The girls a planning a "birthday shot" at midnight sunday night :) In the midst of that I have to write and send out my resume, but thats ok.. I think I can handle that :)
Hopefully this weekend I can shake off the negativity of last week and start anew. I don't regret josh and I's relationship and I hope we can be friends eventually. I don't see us "hanging out" comfortably for a while though, but thats only natural. I feel a great peace about where God is bringing me now, that Jeremiah verse rings true as does the one about a "new creation". Thats how I feel.. and to commemorate it, I dyed my hair. :)