Tuesday, April 01, 2008

I heart lightning.

Tonight it thunderstormed. I was napping- too exhausted and feeling unproductive to stay awake after dinner. I woke up at the startling thunder- I had cracked my window to the cool breeze that afternoon. The first thing I did was close my door turn off the lights. I tied off my curtain, and rearranged my pillows and blankets so I was cozied and basically hugging the window sill. The crushing sound of rain is so amazing. In my ears it is my favorite sound I think- refreshing, cleansing, dangerous. Rain is individual and collective, free, unchecked and all encompassing. It hits all the land, and has no issues with diversity. Rain quenches our thirst, and overruns our streets. I love it. There is something beautiful about warm spring rains. A lot of somethings actually. The lightning tonight was brilliant, literally! I didn't have contacts in, and I couldn't see much through the screen or trees, but I was blinded despite. The light penetrated the tree cover, and shocked my eyes closed no matter how hard I tried to keep them open. Sometimes I feel like lightning reaches our soul, that when you see it- God touches your soul and awakens your heart. He brings light to the dark crevices, the "dark and twisty" we all have inside. Where some fear lightning, I embrace it. I see God in lightning. For me that moment between the lightning and thunder is my repentance. God brings the light, I breathe in, out, and boom. I am clean, washed white, free, and hopeful once again. I haven't had a good storm in awhile. The storm was only a few miles away tonight, a few hit pretty close to home. At times I looked up at the tree outside my window and thought- if God wanted to, he could strike that tree and kill me in an instant. Why doesn't he? Not that I want to die, but what is it about our creator that he can be so merciful, so full of grace. I am only a girl. I am only a mistake-maker. I am only a child. I am only... his daughter. Ahhh.. maybe thats it. For today at least I see that I am His child, and that suffices my pain. I am not a mother, but I know what it is to be a daughter, especially His daughter.

So today the lightning brought me freedom. He broke the changes, cast off the burdens. I am His again, free and clear.

His lightning lights up the world; the earth sees and trembles. Psalms 97:4

His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. Mathew 28:3

From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder. Revelation 4:5

The voice of the LORD strikes with flashes of lightning. Psalm 29:7

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