Man today is going to be a good one. That song "this is the day that the lord has made" is going through my head. I forget sometimes how much energy I gain from being in the midst of community, even a community I am not very familiar with yet. Varghese came with me today to check out Agape Christian Fellowship. It has been on my lists of churches in Brattleboro, and I gotta say... I really loved it. It seemed like a vibrant group of people, with lots of energy and love to share. We met up with Josh and sat with he and Anne. It was good to see her. I think the last time I saw her I was still crazy stuck in my petrified stage, not really knowing how to communicate. It was good to feel like a real person again, even if I couldn't really think of anything to say other than.. I'm good how are you? hahah.. oh well. Next time I guess.
So this afternoon I am beginning to work on my Social Identity Paper. It is sort of strange. I mean the two identities that I have been working and struggling through this semester are being "hearing" identified and oddly enough being "female". As far as recognizing my identity as hearing goes, I am still struggling through that one. I think being friends with and getting to know Josh (shoutout!) has helped in speeding up the process of working through that identity, but I am definitely still working through it. As far as gender identity goes, I chose this as second choice to struggling through my identity as a Christian. I was going to use that one, but I couldn't decide if I could consider it an "oppressed" identity. It feels like it is, I mean it is at the very least the least represented at the school, and I feel like the identity is stigmatized as the cause of all the evils in the world we as students are trying to change and improve.. I chose gender identity instead because I don't think I have ever really looked at my gender identity development. Gender roles play such a huge part in who I am as a Christian, American, etc. I feel like moving to Texas brought some tension to how I envision myself as a woman within the church. I struggled with my lack of ability to pray in front of the congregation, to take leadership roles within the communities, and other things that came up while in the midst of Church of Christ country. I was raised as an empowered leader, strong woman and warrior of God, and someone who knows that if something needs to happen, I need to be the one to "step up" and be proactive to make changes. Coming to SIT it has been strange because although I am empowered as a woman, I am assumed to be disempowered due to being a Christian. I don't know how I am going to articulate this tension in my paper.. but I need to find away to do it.
I just watched a little bit of the Gladiator and a snippet of the Matrix while eating dinner with Cici downstairs.. great films.
This is how I feel: