Wednesday, July 18, 2007


It is nine thirty. It is Tuesday. It is past halfway through July. This summer WHIZZED by.

So.. soon Ill be packing up and heading off to graduate school in Vermont. Conversations with the guy at work yesterday got me thinking. I am excited to be out on my own once again. I love new experiences as much as I love cozy old ones. Getting to meet a thousand new faces, forgetting all their names two seconds after, and then seeing which people change me and stick into my life. I wonder if Ill meet another Shyle or Brooke. Will I meet people like Ed who change my perspective on career? or people like Russ who try hard to make me a better person despite their own flaws? How about people like my sister who make me excited to be a parent someday because it will be a great challenge? I am excited to meet the Phils, and Nates, the Brandons, and Megans too. It is just interesting to reflect and see the array of people who have whipped me into the person I am. I was reading a book the other day, a guilty pleasure Ive read eighty thousand times. She has a character whose accent takes in a little bit from each person she meets. I feel like that too. Not just in my accent. I feel like I take on qualities, good and bad, from the people I meet. I hope that that is not a flaw.. like " I dont know who I am so I just steal stuff from others". I know who I am, and who I strive to be.
I guess I just like to truly see people and what they are about, when Im allowed that far in I tend to leave a piece of me with them, and take a little bit too. I think that is a good definition for what true relationship is. The give and take. Ive had this conversation with Phil before, he was so impressive in his quest for better friendships, deeper roots etc. I think Ive blogged on it before but it relates... Phil was saying he felt like a majority of his friendships were skin deep. Not that he or they were shallow, but that somehow he had never managed to really dig in and find a best friend or companion (I told him I considered him a best friend, because he invests in my life, listens and is always there for me..). We talked about it and realized that he rarely gave of his own story or his own life. Rather he let others tell their stories (like me who can always fill a silence with worthless blabber) and felt that that was his way to give in the relationship. He didn't like to tell his story because it felt like he was "taking" from people and forcing them to hear it. For me.. that was opposite. I think of give and take in a vice versa kind of way. Giving of your story and allowing the other person to take.. or partake of your life. Allowing them to invest in your life and story. If they never know anything about you, they can't invest. Right? The point being that in a relationship.. even though sometimes you feel like you are taking all the time.. you are allowing others to invest in you by letting them "give". I think thats an important thing. Yes we need to give as well by listening, and investing ourselves in the other person.. but it has to be an equal or near equal exchange. Phew.. I dont know if that made sense.. but there is a point..

I am excited to meet new people and begin investing anew. I love hearing peoples stories for the first time. Family, fun stories, hard times, faith stories, travel, hobbies, love triangles, whatever. You can really see the heart of people by hearing their stories.. and how they tell them. Were they ok with the death of their mother, did they actually enjoy punching that girl deep down, did God truly transform their lives, did that experience in South America change their idea of America... YOu know the GOOD stuff.

Well Ill get a nice fat chance to hear some amazing stories in the fall... especially at a school where a lot of the students are either international or travellers.. Steve you would probably get a kick out of visiting just to meet some of the people.. its gonna be fun!

God has been doing some strange things in me these past few months. I have had a lot of faith ups and downs.. Im not complaining. I like knowing God is making me a better person. Trials are just another part of that. I need to get back into my readings, and back on track a little. I was doing well for awhile and I can notice the difference in my attitude.. Im tired again. boo.

well I work most of the day today, but Ill post some work stories if anything happens.

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