Last night was a relaxing night. I had written a big long post, trying to get some things off my chest and thank friends who were so great friday. I once again apparently made Josh out to be something he doesn't agree with.. sorry if thats how you feel and you are probably right. Either way kid, the post was about how I FELT in the relationship, it wasn't meant to be accusatory, or a statement of your character. And yeah.. you were more invested in it. And no, this relationship isn't happening again. Be a big boy, and move on. Ok that was a bit mean.. but its getting to a point where I don't want to be nice any more, I don't want to lead anyone on anymore. So. Thats that. See?? I already feel guilty again and we aren't even together. Arg.
Today I went with a group of people to a church in uhhh.. i don't remember the name of the city, it was by holyoke, ma. It was a pretty traditional church, but the woodwork and windows were pretty? The best part of the day was afterwards when we went to his house to eat caribbean food prepared by him and his wife. They are from Barbados.. and Trinidad? I think.. AMAZING. I am still full 5 hours later. His daughter was sweet and the discussions and fellowship was fun. I am excited for next time when Varghese cooks chicken Marsala. Ive heard great things about his indian food.
One of the many sad things about this miserable breakup is that I doubt we'll be playing frisbee at Austine. I don't think I could handle seeing Josh in a context where we will both be competitive. I promise it won't turn out well.. too much bitterness right now. Its sad really.. maybe someday we'll grow up... emphasize the "WE" on that in order to not criminalize myself once again. Maybe the keene kids are around playing snowbee or icebee. I am ready for mudbee once the snow melts and super stoked for this summer to play!
PS. PHIL JACOBS SHOULD MOVE TO MICHIGAN THIS SUMMER AND BE MY ROOMMATE.. Come on Roommate Phil. Thats your name.. you know you want to..
I was looking at apartment listings the other day. it is looking like it will be about 450-700 for a one bedroom apartment.. which is something I won't be able to afford until loan money comes in in the fall. I can put living expenses down on fafsa for loans and such. but until august.. yikes.. thats a high rent for not having a fulltime job... I'll probably be working at Barnes and Noble and getting a second job to make cash this summer. SO PHIL SHOULD COME HANG OUT AND SPLIT RENT WITH ME> YET IT IS TRUE> YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO
Phil and I have this crazy cool relationship. We have been friends for five years, and the last few have been some of my favorite college times. He and brandon really became my stability the last year, and I loved our times out geocaching, playing some bee, and just chilling out in general. Our many talks, the three of us, in the Pink Room until 3 in the morning. Phil and I's trek out from Phillie. Its true that I almost throttled him over nothing once we made it to my sisters.. but there is a difference being stuck in a teeny blue car with someone for three days, than having your own space, jobs, and things to do.. RIGHT? hahahah... COME ON PHIL!!
I think Cici is planning something for my bday tonight. I got a text from someone today that asked about my "shindig" at 10.. uhhh.. I know not of what you speak.. talk to CICI.. was my response.. hahah.. oh well.. I love them all.. and I really don't know anything yet. I'll keep you posted.
Tomorrow I'll be heading out to keene after going tanning in the mornin g(ahhhh..) to get allll my work done. hurrah.